Copyright 2000 --- Robert Baer Jr. Buford's Collie Squadron -- "The Mystic That Stole Christmas" DISCLAIMER Road Rovers characters, names, situations and the Road Rovers universe are the property of Warner Bros. I, nor this script/story are connected with Warner Bros. in any way, shape or form. This document may not be publicized or reproduced in any way, shape or form. It must remain fully intact and may not be altered in anyway. It is strictly used for not-for-profit entertainment purposes only, and is not intended to infringe on any Copyrights. This story is written by Robert Baer Jr and the characters Otto, Samantha Maddog, Ben Maddog, Abby Maddog, Vicki Maddog, Molly Maddog, Kyra, Linda Maddog, Uncle Buford, Rupee, Roger Maddog, Princess and the Gila Monster are all Robert Baer Jr's creations, copyright 1997-1998. Marauder is a creation of Jerimy Bass. Jazz is a creation of Dylan Rinald. Misty Maddog and Mystic McLab are creations of Bart Walls. Boomerang is a creation of Robert Page, No36s and Alice Kiddman are creations of Branden P. Nikki is a creation of Patrick Wood. DJ and Dusty are creations of Jake Williams. Convoy is a creation of Matt Daily. Buford's Collie Squadron -- "The Mystic That Stole Christmas" It's Christmas Eve and Mystic McLab is in her cave hideout, slumped down on her sofa watching TV. MYSTIC (outloud): I HATE CHRISTMAS!!! Everyone so bright, so cheery! YUCK!!! (mockingly): Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! (growls): PHOOEY!!! Who needs it? I'm just going to sit here all Christmas Day and snooze! I just can't stand all that joy and happiness! Mystic flips her remote and sees a few minutes from "It's A Wonderful Life" MYSTIC (growls): A happy ending? I HATE HAPPY ENDINGS!!! Mystic forms a fireball in her hand and tosses it at her TV set, smiling as it explodes in a fountain of sparks MYSTIC (furious): Christmas! CHRISTMAS!!! (pounds fist on arm of couch): IF I SEE JUST ONE MORE HAPPY FAMILY I'LL.... (evil grin): hey! Wait just ONE second! (laughing): That's it! Oh, this will be SO much fun! I'll find a family and ruin their Christmas for them! (jumps from couch): What a GREAT idea! Watching the looks on all of their faces when .... (claps hands): I just GOTTA do this! (widening grin): And I know just where to strike! Mystic laughs wickedly as she disappears. Meanwhile, the scene shifts to the Maddog mansion where a large Christmas party is taking place for the Maddog family and friends. Ben Maddog sits at the table with all of his children, along with Otto, DJ, Dusty, Convoy, Marauder, Jazz, Boomerang, No36s, Alice Kiddman, Colleen, Kyra, Nikki, Princess, Uncle Buford and the Gila Monster. CONVOY (smiles): That was sure some good grub, Mr Maddog! ABBY (defensive): One does not call Filet Mignone 'grub'! BEN (simling): It's alright, Abby, I understand and thank you, Convoy! NIKKI (nods): I'm with Convoy, that was delicious! MISTY (excited): Now that we're finished with dinner, let's all sing some Christmas carols! GILA MONSTER (stands up): Great! I'll goes first! (singing): All I wants for Christmas is my two by four, my two by four, oh my two by four! All I wants for Christmas is my two by four so I can deck folks in the hall! FA LA LA LA LA , LA LA ...er.....LA! VICKI (covering ears): GILA!!! YOU SING LIKE A WOUNDED DUCK!!! GILA MONSTER (big grin): Hey, thanks Vicki! Wants to hear more? DJ (whipsers to Dusty): Not without earplugs! ABBY (shouts): NO!! PLEASE!!! WE'VE JUST EATEN!!! PRINCESS (calmly): Er...darling, why not save your voice for later? BOOMERANG (laughs): And save us all some agony! GILA MONSTER (smiles): Ok, anything you say, Princess! BEN (stands up): How about all of us go into the parlor and sing Christmas carols! LINDA (nods): Good idea! NO36S (excited); Hey Mr Maddog, can I play that grand piano of yours? BEN (happy): Of course! MISTY (excited); YEAH!!! Singing carols under our huge Christmas tree! JAZZ (smiles): I've been meaning to ask you all, do you plan on decorating that humongous tree all by yourselves? MOLLY (nods): We sure are, Jazz! ALICE (looking up at it); WHOA!!! Bet it took days! Maybe a week! ROGER (shakes head): Not really Alice! ABBY (smiles): Yeah, not when we all used our superpowers on it! CONVOY (happy): I'd sure like to see that! BEN (big grin): Alright Convoy (hands him a stopwatch): Keep the time... ready... GO!! In a blaze of activity, Molly uses her super speed to bring several boxes of decorations down from the attic as well as to begin decorating the bottom part of the tree. As Molly is moving, Vicki grabs several strands of lights and bright tinsel. Floating in the air above the floor, Vicki quickly strung the lights and tinsel. Kyra takes several boxes of decorative balls, angels and other ornaments and places them on the upper part of the tree using her elastic stretching abilities. Abby places many candles around the room, lighting them with her finger as she places them. Everyone applauds as Kyra adds the star to the very top of the tree. Convoy stops the stopwatch. CONVOY (shocked): WHOA!!! Three minutes and forty one seconds! MISTY (surprised): I've never seen anything like it! DJ (turns to Dusty): What do you think, Dusty? DUSTY (smiling): Amazing... MARAUDER (surprised): Talk about your instant Christmas tree! BEN (sadly): Too bad Rupee couldn't be here to see this, she'd loved it! ROGER (smiles): You miss her, don't ya dad? BEN (nods): Yes, but she's having Christmas with her daughter, I can understand that. BOOMERANG (smiling): Hey gang, let's start that singing we were talking about earlier! SAMANTHA (nods): Good idea, Mr Boomerang, sir! BOOMERANG (turns to Samantha): Sam, how many times to I have to say it? You don't have to call me sir all the time! SAMANTHA (nods): Yes sir... (embarrassed): Oh.. sorry.... NO36S (points): I want to tickle those ivories on that grand piano! BEN (shouts): Ok everyone, let's gather around the piano and sing! GILA MONSTER (claps): GOODY!!! I LOVES TO SING!!! ALICE (under his breath): Too bad he couldn't carry a tune to a 10 gallon bucket! GILA MONSTER (turns to Alice): WHAT DID YOU SAY? ALICE (smiles): Er... nothing! COLLEEN (elbows him): Alice, darling, be nice! It's Christmas! Soon, everyone is gathered together, happily singing Christmas songs as an invisible Mystic McLab watches in the distance. MYSTIC (angry): There they are! So HAPPY and content! That huge tree with ALL of those gifts under it! (evil grin): I'll wait till they're all asleep... they'll all get a BIG SURPRISE in the morning! Hours pass by quickly, it's soon eleven o'clock. All of the guests as well as the Maddog family prepare for bed. DJ, Dusty, Marauder, Princess and the other invited guests all are assigned guest bedrooms. The last one to fall asleep is Misty, who looks forward to her first real Christmas celebration as a Maddog. Mystic now appears, wearing a Santa suit and a huge grin on her face. MYSTIC (evil laugh): Now it's MY turn to sing! (singing): Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg, the Batmobile broke it's wheel, the Joker got away! Mystic walks around the parlor, gazing at the huge lighted Christmas tree. MYSTIC (laughs): Now you see it... (snaps fingers): Now YOU DON'T!! The tree instantly vanishes, along with all of the Christmas decorations, even the grand piano disappears as well. MYSTIC (laughs): Eat your heart out, Mr Grinch! One more snap of her fingers makes every wrapped gift that were under the tree disappear. Mystic then teleports herself to the large lavishly furnished kitchen. MYSTIC (snickers): I may as well take their Christmas dinner as well! She waves her arms, and every bit of food in the kitchen disappears, even the fridge and the three chest freezers also vanish. MYSTIC (laughs): I love it! No presents! No Christmas spirit! No Christmas breakfast! Now it's time for me to wait till morning! This is SO much fun, I'm getting goosebumps! Morning soon arrives, the first one out of bed is Misty, who runs around to all the other bedrooms shouting at the top of her lungs "IT'S CHRISTMAS! WAKE UP!!" When everyone rushed over to the parlor, they were all shocked. JAZZ (shocked): What's the deal? ABBY (screams): WE'VE BEEN ROBBED!!! MOLLY (screams): OUR TREE!!! VICKI (screams): OUR GIFTS!!! SAMANTHA (screams): OH NO!!! OTTO (sternly): Scanning..... no signs of forced entry ... no visible evidence of ... VICKI (grabs Otto and shakes him): ALRIGHT YOU OVERSIZED CALCULATOR!! FIND MY PRESENTS!!! SAMANTHA (growls): HEY!! LEAVE MY HUSBAND ALONE!!! BEN (shouts): Everyone! Settle down! We've obviously been robbed, my insurance will cover our losses. (smiles): Now, let's all calm down and go to the dining room. We'll all feel better after a good hearty breakfast! It's at that time that Boomerang, No36s and Alice Kiddman enter the parlor from the other side. BOOMERANG (shakes head): Got some bad news for ya, pops NO36S (nods): Whoever stole the presents raided the icebox too! ALICE (nods): We were just in the kitchen, there isn't a single thing to eat in the entire place! BEN (shocked); WHAT???? This can't be! The others follow Ben to the large kitchen area and see that the cubboards are all bare. MISTY (sadly, pointing): They even took the fridge with them! LINDA (pointing): And they stole all of our chest freezers! DJ (confused): How could they have done this right under our noses? MARAUDER (turns to Ben): I notice all of your servants are not here, Ben, could one of them ... BEN (protesting): NEVER! All of my human servants are loyal! I gave them all time off for the holidays, they'd NEVER betray us! GILA MONSTER (angry): When I gits my hands on the gooberoos who did this.... PRINCESS (shakes head): No no Gila, getting upset won't help us find the theives! GILA MONSTER (furious): I wants to club someone.... it'll make me feel better! ABBY (upset): This is one wonderful Christmas! First, no gifts! Now, no food! And I'm STARVING!!!! VICKI (upset): Yeah! This Christmas BITES!!! MOLLY (turns to Abby and Vicki): Stop it you two! This isn't helping matters! CONVOY (nods): Molly's right, no point in being upset... ABBY (furious): EASY FOR YOU TO SAY!!! SAMANTHA (turns to Abby): That wasn't very nice, Abby VICKI (upset): Shut your snout, Miss Manners! Have your android husband scan the world for our Christmas gifts! Heated arguments break out among the group, Mystic McLab (who is invisible and floating above them) is watching all of this and bubbling over with glee. MYSTIC (laughing): It's just like I predicted! They're yelling at each other! Soon, they'll be fist fights and crying, I don't want to miss a minute of it! As the arguing gets louder and louder, Misty wipes the tears from her eyes and jumps up on the kitchen table. MISTY (screams): HEY!!! EVERYONE!! LISTEN TO ME!!! Now all eyes are on the courageous youngest Maddog sister. MISTY (calmly): Y'know, this is my FIRST Christmas as a Maddog, and presents or no presents, this is still a great moment for me! JAZZ (shocked); Huh? How can that be? MISTY (calmly): Last year, I was just a collie dog with a mean master! Wanna know how I spent LAST Christmas? Outside, chained up to my doghouse! I was all but forgotten while my master's family had their Christmas celebration inside their warm, comfy house! My water dish was frozen over and they even forgot to feed me that day! I spent the entire day cold, alone and nearly frozen in the snow! Even with all things considered this morning, this Christmas is paradise to me! BEN (sadly): Misty... I had NO idea.... MISTY (smiles): This Christmas will always be special to me, not because of any tree or wrapped present or special Christmas dinner. I will always remember this Christmas because I've already received the greatest gift of all! My family! (crying): Christmas is all about love and togetherness, and I love ALL of you now more than ever! With that Misty climbs off the table, first Ben hugs her tightly. Then one by one, all of her siblings hug her and cry, soon everyone in the kitchen is hugging one another, weeping and feeling all warm inside. The scene is so touching, even Mystic McLab is brought to tears. Without realizing it, Mystic slowly becomes visible and can be heard by everyone. MYSTIC (sobbing): I can't take any more of this! Why do I suddenly feel .... compassion... for this bunch of mongrels? Why am I crying? That poor collie girl! BEN (growls): Mystic McLab! So, you were behind this all along! ABBY (growls): I'll sue you to the next millinium! GILA MONSTER (grabs a chair): I'll flattens her real good! MISTY (jumps up in front of Mystic): Wait everyone! (turns to Mystic): It's Christmas day, Miss McLab, would you like to spend it with us? MYSTIC (surprised): Huh? YOU are asking ME to stay? MISTY (smiles): Of course! It's Christmas! Misty suddenly hugs Mystic tightly. The black lab is so moved by Misty's gesture of friendship that she begins to cry aloud. MYSTIC (sobbing): I'm so sorry for all I've done! (shocked): Er... did I just say that? BEN (smiles): You sure did, Mystic! Misty's right, after all, it is Christmas, you are welcome to join us! ABBY & VICKI (growling); DAD!!! BEN (sternly): I mean it, Mystic! You may spend Christmas with us if you like MYSTIC (sobbing): I don't .. know what to say.... (smiles): But I DO know what to do! Mystic waves her arms and all of the missing items return. The beautiful Christmas tree, all of the gifts, all of the food, even the grand piano was back in it's place in the parlor. ABBY (happy): LOOK!!! IT'S ALL BACK!!! VICKI (happy): OUR PRESENTS!!! SAMANTHA (happy): Amazing! OTTO (sternly): By my exact calculations, every missing item has been returned to it's proper place! MYSTIC (looks at Misty): Thank you, Misty Maddog, for showing me the TRUE meaning of Christmas! MISTY (happy): You're welcome, Miss McLab! MYSTIC (smiles): Call me Mystic, ok? Soon the entire group is opening gifts, singing and having a great time, even Mystic. After opening their gifts and eating a hearty breakfast, the group returns to the parlor and begins singing Christmas carols. The Gila Monster notices that Mystic is now standing under the missiletoe. GILA MONSTER (shrugs shoulders): What the heck? It's Christmas! The Gila gives Mystic a long, passionate kiss with such force, she falls over backward to the floor. The others rush over to her. SAMANTHA (concerned): Mystic, ma'am, are you alright? MYSTIC (big smile): Princess, your boyfriend is one great kisser! Everyone laughs and begins to sing again. ----------------------------------------------------------------------