Copyright 2004 --- Robert Baer Jr. Buford's Collie Squadron -- "Too Big, Too Many" DISCLAIMER Road Rover names, characters, situations and the Road Rover universe are the property of Warner Bros. I, nor this script/story have any connection with Warner Bros. in any way, shape or form. This document is meant solely for not-for-profit entertainment and may not be reproduced or publized in any way, shape or form. This story in not meant to infringe on any copyrights. This story is written by Robert Baer Jr and all characters in this story not otherwise copyrighted by Warner Brothers or not otherwise noted in this disclaimer are all Robert Baer Jr's creations, copyright pending 1997-2004. Marauder is the creation of Jerimy Bass. Catman is a creation of John Butler. Mystic McLab and Zelda are creations of Bart Walls. Buford's Collie Squadron -- "Too Big, Too Many" The scene is the United States Mint in Denver, Colorado. Several military type vehicles have surrounded it. As the smoke from several sleeping gas bombs fill the air, a troop of masked soldiers rush out to their vehicles and prepare to leave, carrying large sacks of money with them. SOLDIER (holding walkie talkie): Alpha leader to Captain Storm, Alpha leader to Captain Storm... STORM (on walkie talkie): Storm here, Alpha Leader SOLDIER (holding walkie talkie): Mission accomplished! We have knocked out all of the guards and have taken as much cash as we can carry. Will meet you at the rendevous point in one hour. STORM (on walkie talkie): Excellent, Storm out... SOLDIER (shouts outloud): Let's move'm out! Suddenly, a loud BOOM!!! shakes the ground. Standing on the main road out are members of the Collie Squadron. Abby, Molly, Linda, Marauder, Prairie Mason and Prairie Rose. ABBY (shouts): Not so fast, evildoers! MARAUDER (rolls eyes): That sounds SO corny, Abby ABBY (proudly): I read that in a comic book! MOLLY (growls): C'mon guys, let's get'm! Molly zips into action first, using her super speed to snatch rifles from stunned Storm soldiers. Abby then 'flames on' and flies around the mint, sending fireballs towards the fleeing soldiers. Prairie Mason glows and 'multiplies' into fifteen 'copies' of himself and chases after other fleeing soldiers. Prairie Rose glows and grows into a giant, grabbing several of the troops' light tanks in her hands. Linda uses her powers to 'pass through' many of the parked vehicles, ripping out vital wires as she passes. Marauder has joined the other 'Prairie Masons' in hand to hand combat with some of the troops. In a matter of minutes, everyone of Storm's soldiers are captured. Watching from a distance is a mysterious figure, a black labrador female who smiles wickedly as she observes unnoticed. The successful Collie Squadron members gather together. Abby lands and 'flames off' as Molly zips over to her. Linda and Marauder come running towards them. ABBY (happy): That was easy! MOLLY (nods): We captured them all! MARAUDER (upset): But Zachary Storm wasn't with them LINDA (looks all around): Where's Prairie Mason and Prairie Rose? On the other side of the building, the still towering Prairie Rose carries a huge handful of Storm's soldiers and sets them down in front of the fifteen Prairie Masons, who work to tie them up. PRAIRIE ROSE (booming voice): There we are! All gift wrapped for the police! PRAIRIE MASONS (together): That's right, darling Instantly, Mystic McLab appears in front of them, wearing Harry Potter style robes. MYSTIC (laughing): Look at what we have here? The Jolly Yellow Giant and her fifteen piece band! PRAIRIE ROSE (angry): Mystic McLab! I should've known you were behind this! MYSTIC (laughs): Behind this pitiful petty crime? Don't make me laugh! PRAIRIE MASONS (together): Then why are you here? MYSTIC (evil grin): To make a little mischief! (raises her arms): Praire Mason, Prairie Rose, stand very still and strike a pose, in the forms you now abide, remain forever, side by side! Briefly, the giant Prairie Rose and the fifteen Prairie Masons glow. MYSTIC (laughing): This will be SO much fun to watch! See you around... Mystic McLab disappears as Molly, Linda, Abby and Marauder rush over to them. ABBY (sternly): So here you guys are! Let's go! I want to get back to the mansion in time to watch my favorite soap opera, "All My Collies" MOLLY (rolls eyes): You and your soap operas, sis. LINDA (smiles): Too bad dad and Vicki are in court now, they would've liked all this action MARAUDER (nods): And Rupee is with Amos, Hannah, Catman and Felicia visting Bombay PRAIRIE ROSE (smiles): Ok my love, time to change back into our normal selves Prairie Rose and all fifteen Prairie Masons close their eyes to focus. They are all shocked to find that they cannot change back. ABBY (shouts): HURRY UP! I'M MISSING MY SOAPS! PRAIRIE ROSE (closing her eyes): Something's wrong... I'm not shrinking! PRAIRIE MASONS (together): We can't regroup! MOLLY (stunned): WHAT??? PRAIRIE ROSE (closing her eyes again): Why can't I shrink? This has never happened to me before! PRAIRIE MASONS (looking at each other): This is impossible! LINDA (shouts): OH NO! (turns to him): Honey! You're a doctor, do something! MARAUDER (stunned): I'm not sure I can do anything. This has little to do with health and much to do with transdogmifier technology ABBY (surprised): None of the rest of us have ever been stuck like this before PRAIRIE ROSE (upset): MYSTIC MCLAB!! SHE MUST'VE CAST A SPELL ON US! LINDA (surprised): Mystic was here? PRAIRIE MASONS (all nods): Yes MOLLY (panics): What are we going to do? PRAIRIE ROSE (sobbing): I don't do remain this big forever! How will I care for my children! (crying): And my poor husband.... Huge tears fall from the giant Prairie Rose's eyes. The other Rovers move to dodge the crashing waves of water. ABBY (shouts): STOP CRYING! YOU'RE GOING TO DROWN US! LINDA (sadly): This is horrible MOLLY (growls): Another one of Mystic's mean magic tricks MARAUDER (sternly): Trick or not, we have to get them off the streets. Prairie Rose might accidently step on houses and parked cars. As for Prairie Mason, as time goes on, he's not going to be able to control all fifteen of his bodies. There's no telling how prolonged separation from his central mind will do to them Hearing this, Prairie Rose begins to cry more. The grounds in front of the mint begin to flood. ABBY (frantic): We gotta get Miss Niagra Falls outta here fast! MOLLY (brightens): I know just the place! ABBY (sternly): Not the mansion! She's way too big! MARAUDER (shakes head): Even the hanger bay at Mission Control would be rather cramped quarters for her LINDA (concerned): Where can we go then, Molly? MOLLY (smiles): We're going to visit an old friend... The scene shifts to a large cave, in an far away place. It is the dwelling of the Computer Dinosaur and his wife, Dree-'el. Both are towering brontosauruses who are old friends of the Maddog family. In the huge living room, the still giant Prairie Rose rests in a huge Stonaway reclining chair as Dree-'el sits across from her, trying to calm her down. Abby, Molly and Linda talk to the Computer Dinosaur in the kitchen. MOLLY (happy): Thank you, Dinosaur, for allowing us to stay here under the circumstances LINDA (nods): At least here, Prairie Rose has room to move about and has giant sized facilities COMPUTER DINOSAUR (looking down at them): It's our pleasure! It's been a long time since your last visit to our cave (concerned): Abby? Why do you look so terrified? ABBY (fearful): No offense, but this place always gives me the creeps! LINDA (giggles): Marauder felt the same way, this is his first time meeting two living brontosauruses in a cave large enough to hold a small city COMPUTER DINOSAUR (looks around): Where is your charming husband? He seemed very afraid the first time he saw me LINDA (points): He's in your den, giving all fifteen Prairie Masons physicals. He thinks he might be able to change him back to normal if he can.. Marauder walks in, with a worried look on his face. LINDA (smiles): Darling? Did you find out how to cure him? MARAUDER (shakes head): No, my love. All fifteen Prairie Masons are in excellent health... and all identical in every way. I have no answers COMPUTER DINOSAUR (sad): I'm sorry to hear that MARAUDER (concerned): And what's worse is that each Prairie Mason is beginning to think and act independently. I fear if he is not restored soon, he could remain fifteen different people, forever PRAIRIE ROSE (in other room): NO!!!!!! Dree-'el quickly hands her a huge dinosaur-sized box of Kleenex with her mouth. As she takes the box and starts to cry, using several of the supersized Kleenex to wipe her eyes. Suddenly, Rupee, Amos Doggie, Hannah, Catman and Felicia appear in the living room. RUPEE (concerned): We heard about what happened CATMAN (nods): Perhaps we can change our friends back to normal PRAIRIE ROSE (sobbing): Thank you, please help my husband first! I can wait, he can't! Hearing his wife crying, the fifteen Prairie Masons all rush into the living room. Rather than talking and moving in unison, each is now acting on his own. Three shake hands with Amos, two try to explain the situation to Rupee, four more hug Prairie Rose's ankle while the rest rush into the kitchen. HANNAH (stunned): I can see what you mean FELICIA (concerned): Can we get all of them to stand close together? AMOS (still shaking hands): Amos know not, but Amos be gittin' tired of hand shakin'! Six of the Prairie Masons return from the kitchen, each holding a bowl of dry dog kibble. CATMAN (surprised): CD keeps dog food in his cave? DREE-'EL (nods): Of course Mr Catman. Some of our best friends are canines PRAIRIE ROSE (blows nose in hanky): I am a bit hungry AMOS (lifts arms in the air): Amos Doggie be fixin' dat! Suddenly, a huge bowl of Amos's crawdad bisque appears in the giant yellow retrievers lap. The aroma of the soup draws all fifteen of the Praire Masons together, all looking up at the huge bowl. RUPEE (smiles): Now we can act! Let's focus on them with our powers! Rupee, Catman, Hannah, Felicia and Amos all close their eyes and concentrate. The fifteen Prairie Mason's glow for a few minutes, but when the light fades, nothing has changed. RUPEE (disappointed): Even our combined magical abilities changed nothing! AMOS (confused): Amos understand not... CATMAN (sad): If none of us can break Mystic's spell... FEMALE VOICE (booming all around): There is only one person who can! As everyone in the cave looks upward, a yellow labrador cano-sapien lady appears and gently floats down to the floor. RUPEE (smiles): Zelda! ZELDA (nods): Yes, it is I. My sister's magic can be very powerful, I fear she is the only one who can restore our friends to their normal selves. CATMAN (growls): So our only option is to go to her and politely ask her to take the spell off? FELICIA (upset): Mystic wants to take over the world! ZELDA (calmly): I know you all have reservations, but at this point, there is no other choice HANNAH (nods): Very well, Amos, you stay here with our friends AMOS (nods): Amos tink dat be smart tinkin'! Amos give'm all crawdad bisque so dat day not be so hungry! RUPEE (nods): Very well, lead on, Zelda. The scene now shifts to a dimly lit nightclub in another dimension. Beings of all sorts are seated at tables, sipping on strange looking drinks and having pleasant conversation. Mystic McLab sits at the bar, looking bored as Rupee, Catman, Felicia, Hannah and Zelda walk over to her. MYSTIC (surprised): Zelda! My dear, dear sister! How have you been? You never call or write to me ZELDA (sternly): You know why we're here! Take the spell off of Prairie Mason and Prairie Rose! MYSTIC (smirks): Why should I? I've done them a favor! RUPEE (confused): Favor? MYSTIC (nods): Certainly! Prairie Rose can start a new career in acting by landing a role in the new movie "Revenge of the fifty foot Labrador!" while Prairie Mason can start his own traveling baseball team! (laughs): The lineup cards would be very easy to fill out CATMAN (upset): This is no laughing matter, Mystic. Neither of them have stayed transformed for this length of time before. FELICIA (upset): And it's hurting Prairie Mason's mind! MYSTIC (smirks): Like I EVER cared about hurting anyone before HANNAH (sternly): Take the spell off of them now or we'll... MYSTIC (stands up, mocking): Or we'll WHAT? You five are in no position to harm me, especially not in this dimension! (evil grin): Of course, there is one thing you folks can do for me.... and if you do it right, I will release my spell... RUPEE (sternly): We will NOT do any of your evil bidding CATMAN (nods): That's right! ZELDA (nods): You know we won't, dear sister! MYSTIC (laughing): Now now, do you people think that I would be that petty? HANNAH, ZELDA, CATMAN, FELICIA & RUPEE (together): YES!!! MYSTIC (laughing): You're correct! I CAN be that petty, but not this time. (evil grin): So if the five of you will stop being so defensive, I'll tell you what I want you five to do for me... The scene now shifts to a very dark place, so dark that no one can see the figures standing in it. They are Catman, Felicia, Zelda, Hannah and Rupee. HANNAH (upset): This is ridiciuos! ZELDA (angry): My sister has a warped sense of humor CATMAN (sighs): But this is what she wants RUPEE (happy): Oh, c'mon now, this will be fun! FELICIA (sternly): Mystic better keep her word! ZELDA (sternly): She will Suddenly, stage lights snap on, the spotlight is on and now everyone in the club sees Catman, wearing a tuxedo and seated behind a baby grand piano. They also see Zelda, Felicia, Hannah and Rupee, all dressed in matching low cut black dressed with a long slit up the side. Each holds a microphone in their hand and begins to sing as Catman plays the piano. They are going to sing "This Kiss", a song made popular by Faith Hill, but with a slower tempo. Other musicians magically appear on the stage next to Catman and help play the background music. HANNAH (singing): I don't want another heartbreak... ZELDA (singing): I don't need another turn to cry... FELICIA (singing): I don't want to learn the hard way... RUPEE (singing): Baby hello... oh no.... goodbye... HANNAH (singing): But you got me like a rocket... shooting straight across the sky.. ALL FOUR (together): It's the way you love me It's a feeling like this It's centrifugal motion It's perpetual bliss It's that pivotal moment It's... impossible This kiss, this kiss! Unstopable.... This kiss, this kiss! As the four continue to sing, Mystic takes cruel delight in watching the audience, many of the male beings cheering and blowing kisses at them. Still looking a bit nervous and embarrassed, the four sing flawlessly. RUPEE (singing): Cinderella said to Snow White.. HANNAH (singing): How does love get so off course?... ZELDA (singing): All I wanted was a white knight... FELICIA (singing): With a good heart, soft touch, fast horse.. ZELDA (singing): Ride me off into the sunset, baby I'm forever yours! ALL FOUR (together): It's the way you love me It's a feeling like this It's centrifugal motion It's perpetual bliss It's that pivotal moment It's... impossible This kiss, this kiss! unstopable.... This kiss, this kiss! HANNAH (singing): You can kiss me in the moonlight, on a rooftop under the sky... ZELDA (singing): You can kiss me with the windows open while the rain comes pouring inside... FELICIA (singing): Kiss me in the sweet slow motion, let's let everything ride.. RUPEE (singing): You got me floating, you got me flying... ALL FOUR (together): It's the way you love me It's a feeling like this It's centrifugal motion It's perpetual bliss It's that pivotal moment It's... impossible This kiss, this kiss! unstopable.... This kiss, this kiss! It's the way you love me, baby! It's the way you love me darling! It's the way you love me It's a feeling like this It's centrifugal motion It's perpetual bliss It's that pivotal moment It's... impossible This kiss, this kiss! unstopable.... This kiss, this kiss! When the music stops, the entire club erupts in loud applause. Rupee takes a bow first, then the other girls follow her lead and bow and wave at the crowd. Some of the males in the crowd throw roses unto the stage as the girls and Catman wave and leave the stage. The five look up and are surprised to find Mystic McLab, dressed in a dark blue formal looking gown, standing in front of them, clapping. MYSTIC (clapping): Bravo, Bravo! That was such a CUTE performance! ZELDA (sternly): Have you removed the spell? MYSTIC (nods): Yes yes, I have done it. You kept your part of the bargain, I kept mine. (laughs): You should have seen yourselves on the stage! And the audience! Six male gongoloids are at this moment fighting in the parking lot to see which one gets to take you ladies home with them! CATMAN (growls): ENOUGH OF THIS! We're leaving together... NOW! MYSTIC (shrugs): Suit yourselves, those gongoloids aren't so bad, once you get past the blue scaley skin, four eyes and six tenticles.... Zelda now lifts her hands and instantly the group returns to the cave. To their relief, they now see Prairie Mason and Prairie Rose, back to their normal selves, hugging and crying in their embrace. AMOS (happy): Lookie lookie! Day be demselves again! LINDA (happy): You did it! MARAUDER (happy): How did you talk Mystic into taking the spell off? ZELDA (frown): I'd rather not talk about it FELICIA (nods): Me either RUPEE (happy): Why not? I haven't had that much fun in centuries! HANNAH (upset): Fun? It was humiliating! MOLLY (confused): What was humiliating? RUPEE (whispers): I will tell you later, my daughter... FELICIA, ZELDA, HANNAH, CATMAN (in unison): NO YOU WON'T!! COMPUTER DINOSAUR (happy): Now that y'all's back to normal, why don't y'all stay and watch some TV with me! Everyone sits down as the Dinosaur presses his large remote control. The towering TV comes on, it's a show called "America's Funniest Home Videos" the host narrates as a very familiar looking video plays. HANNAH (shocked): WHAT THE... FELICIA (screams): HOW COULD SHE?? ZELDA (upset): I should've known Mystic would do this! LINDA (points): Hey! Isn't that you five guys? MARAUDER (laughs): Love the tux, Catman! MOLLY (giggles): And don't they look SO CUTE in those old time dresses? NARRATER (voiceover): Ever heard of Three Dog Night? This is Three Dog Night, with two Cats thrown in for good measure! (hears them sing): What? No howling at the moon? This is doggone good! But what with the guy in the tux? Did the cat get HIS tongue? RUPEE (happy): This is what Mystic made us do to lift the spell! COMPUTER DINOSAUR (smiles): I think y'all sounded great! DREE-'EL (nods): I agree! ZELDA (upset): I may never show my face in public again FELICIA (hugs Catman): At least it's over now, Osceola Suddenly, Mystic's face appears on the TV. MYSTIC (happy): If you LOVED that clip, you can buy the entire song on DVD or Video for only five dollars plus tax! Operators are standing by, don't miss your chance to claim your copy of Road Rover history! Order now! HANNAH (furious): MYSTIC!!! ZELDA (angry): OH NO!!! FELICIA (sobs): I can't believe it! HANNAH (looks over at him): AMOS!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? AMOS (dialing a phone): Amos be callin' to buy it! Amos be proud of me woman! HANNAH (shouts): YOU HANG UP THAT PHONE RIGHT NOW AMOS DOGGIE!! PRAIRIE ROSE (turns to them): And we are proud of you too PRIAIRE MASON (nods): Thank you, all of you, for everything Seeing Prairie Mason and Prairie Rose looking up at them with soulful eyes, Hannah, Zelda, Felicia and Catman now smile warmly. ZELDA (happy): It was worth it all! FELICIA (nods): Yeah! HANNAH (nods): That's right CATMAN (smiles): Maybe I'll buy a copy myself! I don't look half bad in a tux! PRAIRIE MASON (nods): I know I'll order one! AMOS (confused): Woman! Why did y'all have Amos hang up on dem fellers? MOLLY (happy): I'm proud of you, mom! LINDA (smiles): Me too! MARAUDER (happy): This is great! Maybe the five of you can make an album, tour the nation, appear on Letterman's show and... Now Hannah, Felicia, Zelda and Catman give Marauder an angry, icy stare.. MARAUDER (nervous): Or maybe not.... Everyone now laughs ----------------------------------------------------------------