Copyright 2000 -- Robert Baer Jr. Buford's Collie Squadron -- "The Groom of Mystic" DISCLAIMER Road Rovers characters, names, situations and the Road Rovers universe are the property of Warner Bros. I, nor this script/story are connected with Warner Bros. in any way, shape or form. This document may not be publicized or reproduced in any way, shape or form. It must remain fully intact and may not be altered in anyway. It is strictly used for not-for-profit entertainment purposes only, and is not intended to infringe on any Copyrights. This story is written by Robert Baer Jr and the characters Otto, Samantha Maddog, Ben Maddog, Abby Maddog, Vicki Maddog, Princess, Molly Maddog, Kyra, Linda Maddog, Prairie Mason, Prairie Rose and Roger Maddog are all Robert Baer Jr's creations, copyright 1997-1998. DJ is a creation of Jake Williams. Marauder is a creation of Jerimy Bass. Jazz is a creation of Dylan Rinald. Misty Maddog and Mystic McLab are creations of Bart Walls. Convoy is a creation of Matt Daily. Boomerang is a creation of Robert Page, No36s and Alice Kiddman are creations of Brandon P. Buford's Collie Squadron -- "The Groom of Mystic" The scene is an open field a few miles from Collie Squadron Headquarters. It is here that members of the Collie Squadron are participating in a 'war games' drill using paintball guns and flags. It's Ben Maddog's team (consisting of all the Maddog children and Otto) versus Prairie Mason's team (Prairie Rose, Convoy, Marauder, Jazz, Boomerang, Alice, Kyra and No36s). Abby, Vicki and Linda are on patrol duty in their sector. ABBY (upset): I don't see why we are doing this silly exercise! If one of those paint balls ruins my fur, I'll scream! VICKI (nods): I agree! This is such a waste of time! LINDA (shakes head): Would you two please stop complaining? If we keep making noise, the enemy will find us! Abby, Vicki, why don't you two take to the air to see if we can spot them? ABBY (growls): I'm not going to 'flame on' just for some silly old game! VICKI (nods): Yeah Linda, who made YOU squad leader anyway! LINDA (sternly); Dad did, remember? VICKI (nods): Oh yeah.. I forgot! Before the girls can move one more step, Convoy, Prairie Rose and Jazz sneak up from behind and take all of their flags. CONVOY (sternly, smiling); You three are now the prisoners of Team Mason! PRAIRIE ROSE (smiles): Haven't you three heard of keeping quiet in battle? JAZZ (nods): No offense, girls, but we could hear you talking a mile away! ABBY (points at Vicki): This is all YOUR fault, Vicki! VICKI (growls): My fault? Blame our squad leader! LINDA (shocked): Me? What did I do? ABBY (growls): I don't know, but we'll think of something! CONVOY (handcuffs Abby): Abby darling, you know better than to act like this. Bottom line is, all three of you made too much noise and were captured! Right? ABBY (nods): I suppose you're right, dear. PRAIRIE ROSE (handcuffs Linda): Ok, back to our headquarters with the three of you! On the other side of the 'battlefield', Alice Kiddman, Boomerang and No36s are on patrol. BOOMERANG (smiling): I'm telling you guys, this wargames stuff is a breeze! I say we should storm Team Maddog's headquarters right now and end this thing! NO36S (nods): Sounds good to me! ALICE (sternly): Wait a minute guys, old man Maddog told us to patrol this area! NO36S (shrugs shoulders): So? BOOMERANG (smiles): Yeah! We'll be the heroes of this game if we charge and take their headquarters! I say let's do it! NO36S (nods); I agree! ALICE (nods): Ok, count me in! As the three Rovers run through the field but as they pass near a stream, they stop when they hear a female voice wailing in the distance. FEMALE VOICE (sadly): OH DEAR!! WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES???? I WAS SKINNY DIPPING AND SOMEONE STOLE MY CLOTHES!!! Boomerang, Alice and No36s look at each other, smile widely, and follow in the direction of the wailing voice. Peaking their heads through some bushes, they see what appears to be a group of human females in swimsuits. Before they can move in closer, Roger Maddog sneaks up behind them and removes their flags. ROGER (shouts): You three are now prisoners of Team Maddog! BOOMERANG (shocked); What? NO36S (surprised): HEY!!! ALICE (shocked): What gives? The three glance back at the stream, only to watch the hologram of the female humans 'disappear' revealing Otto. BOOMERANG (growls): It was a trick! NO36S (growls): That's not fair! ALICE (smiles); Why didn't we think of that? ROGER (laughs); The oldest trick in the book! OTTO (nods): It was highly probable that such a deception would achieve the desired results. NO36S (confused): Say what? ROGER (giggles): We knew the 'fake babes' call would trap you three! ALICE (nods): Oh! BOOMERANG (smiling): Guess you're right, Otto! Hey, when we get back to camp, will you show me the babes hologram again? ROGER (rolls eyes): Oh brother! A hour passes, the two teams are now ready for their 'final assaults'. Misty and Ben are at Team Maddog Headquarters about to be stormed by DJ and Marauder while Prairie Mason and Kyra stand guard at Team Mason headquarters against Molly and Linda. At both sites, the 'soldiers' are exchanging volley after volley of paintball fire. MARAUDER (turns to DJ): Deej, cover me, I'm going for the Team Maddog flag! DJ (nods): You got it, Marauder! DJ suddenly fires a quick barage of paintballs towards the Team Maddog bunker as Marauder rushes onward. Misty and Ben fire back but continue to miss both DJ and Marauder. Finally a paintball hits Ben, making him 'officially' dead. Misty sees Marauder coming and jumps up and hugs him. MARAUDER (surprised): I know you're scared, Misty, but it's alright..... MISTY (looks into Marauder's eyes): Turn around and shoot DJ with your paintball gun! Suddenly, Marauder gets a blank look on his face and says 'I obey.' He turns around and hits a startled DJ with several paintballs. As Marauder 'snaps' out of Misty's trance, she hits him with a paintball shot. MISTY (happy): YES!!! WE WIN!!! BEN (looks around): Well, everyone else in this area got hit with paintballs, so you're the only one left, Misty! MARAUDER (upset): NO FAIR! I'd have taken the flag if Misty hadn't used her mind powers on me! DJ (giggles): Face it, Marauder, she snookered ya good! Good job, Misty! MISTY (smiles); Thank you! Meanwhile, at Team Mason Headquarters, Prairie Mason and Kyra are fighting off Linda and Molly. Molly uses her super speed to rush the bunker, only to be stopped when Kyra stretches herself into a horizonal 'trapelline and bounces her away. As Molly lands on the ground, Kyra stretches her hand over and snatches her flag. KYRA (laughs): Gotcha, Molly! MOLLY (dazed): Hey! That was a dirty trick! KYRA (smiles): What was so dirty about it? It worked! As Molly and Kyra stand arguing, Linda runs towards the bunker. Prairie Mason fires multiple paintballs at her, but they all pass right through her. Prairie 'multiples' himself, creating a 'human wall' in front of the Team Mason flag. Linda doesn't break her stride, she passes right through all of them and grabs the flag. LINDA (holding up the flag); I GOT THE FLAG!!! WE WIN!!!! PRAIRIE MASON (shocked); Hey! No fair! I shot you many times with paintballs! LINDA (smiles): I can't help it if they all passed through me! Hey, rules are rules, do you see any paint on my clothes? KYRA (shoot Linda when she isn't looking): You do now! LINDA (feels the paintballs hitting her back): HEY!!! MOLLY (aims and shoot at Kyra): This one's for hitting my sister! Soon, Molly, Linda and Kyra are in a three way paintball battle among themselves. When Prairie Mason stands between them and tries to stop them, he's hit several times himself. As the paintball 'war' rages on, no one notices the female black labrador floating above them all. This is Mystic McLab, sworn enemy of all the Road Rovers. MYSTIC (looking down, smiling): Yes, YES! This is perfect! I'll wait for the perfect time to strike! A half hour passes, and all of the Collie Squadron have gathered together for a picnic to celebrate the end of the 'war games.' Everyone seems to be having a good time, except for Vicki Maddog, who sits alone and is barely touching her food. BOOMERANG (looks at Molly): Molly, what's the matter with Vicki? She looks really sad. MOLLY (nods): She's going through a difficult time. She broke up with her latest boyfriend a few days ago. BOOMERANG (nods): Do you think she might talk to me about it? MOLLY (shrugs): Well, I don't know. I tried consoling her yesterday, but she just didn't respond. BOOMERANG (big grin): Hey, what have I got to loose? I have a certain 'flair' with the ladies! Boomerang walks over to Vicki and sits beside her. BOOMERANG (smiles): So Vicki, I heard about your breakup, I'm so sorry. VICKI (sadly, nods): Thank you, Boomerang, but I'll be alright. I've been rejected before.... BOOMERANG (nods): I hear you, Vicki, sometimes rejection is my middle name! Y'know, I just had a thought! After we're done here, how about I take you out to the movies! Just as friends, mind you, no strings attached, what do you say? VICKI (looks at Boomerang): Well, let me think about it, ok? As Vicki is speaking, Mystic McLab now appears above the crowd dressed like an army General. MYSTIC (shouting): Greeting, soldiers! Today is YOUR lucky day! General McLab is here! BEN (growls): MYSTIC!!! What are you doing here? MYSTIC (shouts): Why Benji! Is that any way to address a lady? Shame on you! SAMANTHA (shouting): What do you want from us, Miss Mystic, ma'am? MYSTIC (laughs): At least YOUR polite, Sammy! I've decided after all of these centuries that I want to get married! MISTY (happy): Really? That's wonderful! PRAIRIE ROSE (sternly): MISTY! (turns to Mystic): Who will the unlucky guy be? ABBY (laughs): Bet you'll have to brainwash him to get him to the alter! MYSTIC (growls): SHUT UP, ABBY! (smiles): As a matter of fact, my new husband's gonna be someone you know! (points): I going to select him from among ALL of you males here! DJ (shocked): Say what? JAZZ (surprised): Huh? MARAUDER (growls): Not one of us! MYSTIC (nods): Yep! One of you gets to be my husband! You should be honored! PRAIRIE MASON (growls): Enough of your joking, Mystic! MYSTIC (smiles): This is no joke! Watch! Mystic snaps her fingers, she and Otto, Ben, Jazz, Marauder, Prairie Mason, Boomerang, No36s and Alice Kiddman disappear. SAMANTHA (horrified): OTTO!!!! PRAIRIE ROSE (shocked): My husband!!! MISTY (looks around): Jazz? ABBY (growls): She took my Convoy! VICKI (looks around): Every male member of the Collie Squadron is gone, including Dad and Roger! KYRA (furious): MYSTIC!!! BRING THEM BACK HERE NOW!!!! MOLLY (sadly): DJ's gone too.... SAMANTHA (shouts): Look, we can't just sit here and stew about this! We have to find the men before Mystic does something drastic to them! The scene now shifts to an abandoned theater in Chicago. As Mystic McLab sits alone in the audience area, Otto, Roger, Boomerang, No36s, Alice Kiddman, Prairie Mason, Ben, Convoy, Jazz, DJ and Marauder all are standing on the stage. DJ (shouts): Mystic! What's this all about> MYSTIC (laughs): What it's all about, my curious German Shepard, is about ME choosing one of you lucky canines to marry, that's what! OTTO (sternly): May I point out, Mystic, that Prairie Mason and myself are already married? MYSTIC (smirks): Duh? Shut your metal mouth, cybermutt! Do I look like I care? JAZZ (laughs): That's an easy question to answer! MYSTIC (growls): Don't smart me off, Jazz! This is what's called an elimination beauty pagent! The winner gets to marry me, the losers get to die! It's that simple! BEN (growls): We refuse to participate in this fiasco! MYSTIC (growls): Do I have to prove my sincerity? Very well.... Mystic snaps her fingers and a bolt of lightning hits Otto, the force of it sends him flying across the stage. Boomerang and Alice run over to him. BOOMERANG (concerned): He isn't moving! ALICE (feels his wrist): He does have a slight pulse. PRAIRIE MASON (growls): That wasn't neccessary, Mystic! MYSTIC (nods): Yes it was, and so is this! Mystic snaps her fingers, all of the Rovers suddenly find themselves in chains, complete with iron wristbands, iron collars and leg shackles. MYSTIC (laughs): There now! Not only are you all secure, those neck collars have also nullified all of your special powers, too! Now, it's time for the beauty pagent to begin! BOOMERANG (sarcasticly): What are you going to do, Mystic, make us all parade in front of you wearing speedos? MYSTIC (laughs): What a GREAT idea! Mystic waves her arms, immediately all of the Rovers are dressed in speedo swim trunks. NO36S (growls): You just had to open your BIG mouth, Boomerang! BEN (embarrassed); This is utterly ridiculous! PRAIRIE MASON (embarrassed): I must protest! MYSTIC (angry): Of, shut your yaps, you legal beagles! Now, march around the stage! No one moves. MYSTIC (screams): This will make you move! Mystic shoots lightning bolts out of her hands towards the stage, this causes the Rovers to move, if only to dodge the bolts. MYSTIC (laughs): Well, enough clowning around! Time for me to choose my mate! It's been centuries since I even dated, it's time I got hitched! I always wanted a husband I could make my complete slave! Suddenly, a loud BOOM!!!! shakes the theater, the Maddog sisters, Kyra and Prairie Rose appear. MOLLY (growls): The game's over, Mystic! MYSTIC (laughs): Not really! Mystic snaps her fingers and immediately all of the women are in a cage. MYSTIC (smiles): Oh yeah, and I've disabled all of your collars too, so no more high tech hocus pocus! You ladies can be witnesses at my wedding! BEHOLD!!! Mystic waves her arms and she is now in a very elegant wedding gown. MYSTIC (turns towards the stage): Now, which one of you gets the honor of going down the aisle with me? Linda slowly passes through the bars, picks up a board and sneaks up behind Mystic. As she raises the board to strike her with it, Mystic suddenly turns around and zaps her with a lightning bolt, sending her across the room. MYSTIC (laughs): Looks like you need one of my special collars, ghost girl! Mystic makes an iron collar appear in her hand, as she walks over to put it on Linda's neck, Kyra stretches out her arms, grabs the collar and snaps it on Mystic's neck before she can react. MYSTIC (shocked): What??? NO!!!! Her powers nullified, all of her spells are broken, all of the men's chains disappear as well as the huge cage the ladies were trapped in. SAMANTHA (snears): Looks like you're one of us now, Miss Mystic, ma'am! MYSTIC (pulls at the collar); NO!!! THIS CAN'T BE! MY POWERS! MISTY (nods); Serves you right! OTTO (nods): Let's take her to out detention center Suddenly, the girls realize that all of the male Rovers are still wearing speedos. Abby and Vicki whistle and point at them, Prairie Rose and Samantha grab rugs off the floor to cover their husbands. Molly quickly finds two trenchcoats for DJ and her father to wear. Linda's eyes are as big as saucers as she stands frozen, looking at her boyfriend Marauder. Misty giggles when she sees Jazz. MISTY (smiles): Maybe we can all go swimming? MARAUDER (smiles): Linda, take a picture, it'll last longer. OTTO (sternly): Since this is an old theater, perhaps we men can find some old costumes to wear until we return to mission control. All of the men follow Otto to the dressing room, soon they all emerge wearing Shakespearian style costumes. This causes all of the women to laugh. ABBY (laughing): To be or not to be, that's a good question! VICKI (laughing): Romeo, Romeo, where art thou Romeo? MISTY (smiles): Hey! I think they all look cute! DJ (looks at himself): This ain't exactly how I want to be seen in public! MYSTIC (laughs): You all look silly! I wish I could zap you all back to jolly old England! SAMANTHA (growls): SHUT UP OR I'LL MAKE YOU SHUT UP!!!! OTTO (nods): Now that I'm free of Mystic's magic, I can safely teleport us all back to Mission Control Just as Otto is about to activate his circuitry, Mystic whistles loudly and a huge green hand reaches inside of the theater, grabs her and takes her outside. All of the Rovers follow her out to see that the huge green hand belongs to a fire breathing dragon, who flys off with Mystic. MYSTIC (shouting): I'll get this collar off and when I do, you'll all be sorry! The dragon and Mystic disappear into the night. LINDA (angry): She got away again! PRAIRIE ROSE (nods): True, but we did save all the men from Mystic's clutches! BOOMERANG (wondering): One thing kinda bothers me ALICE (looks at Boomerang): What's that? BOOMERANG (smiles): I wonder if being married to Mystic would be so bad? After all, she's quite a babe! ALL OF THE OTHERS (in unison): BOOMERANG!!!!! BOOMERANG (laughs); Just kidding, folks! All of the Rovers howl in unison. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- to be continued.....