THE RULES OF THE ROAD
By Robert Baer Jr., David Fountain Jr., and Jerimy Bass

Road Rovers, characters, names and situations are © 1996-2004 Warner Bros.  The Maddog family, Rupee, Shankar, Stroker Ace Hounddog, Inspector Zima, and Goldfire Wolf are © Robert Baer Jr.  Misty © Bart Walls.  Hotrod, Alana, Andy, and Grumps are © David Fountain Jr.  Marauder © Jerimy Bass.  Ferrari is © Ferrari S.p.A.  Vertigo © Gillet.  Dew © PepsiCo.  Castrol and Castrol GTX are registered trademarks of Castrol International.  Cy Coleman and Carolyn Leigh wrote the song, “The Rules of the Road.”  Van Morrison wrote “Brown Eyed Girl.”  I am not connected with Warner Bros., or Castrol International in any way, form, or function.  This story is for the sole use of entertainment and is not intended to infringe on any copyrights or for profit of any kind.  It is only fan appreciation.  Thank you.

The scene is the living room of the Maddog Mansion.  As Linda and Marauder walk in, Ben and Rupee are there to congratulate her on her latest win.

(Ben):  I am so proud of you, Linda.  That was a fine race you ran!

(Rupee):  Your sister Molly came in fourth, but she ran a good...

Rupee hesitates and suddenly looks out the window.

(Ben):  Darling?  Is anything wrong?

(Rupee):  No Benji, but we are about to have visitors... arriving in a helicopter.

(Marauder):  I think I know who it is!

The unmistakable sound of a multi bladed helicopter is heard.  A large helicopter, an Augusta A109, sits down in the yard and winds down.  Then, Hotrod gets out, heads to the front door and rings the doorbell.

Molly and Misty walk in.

(Molly):  Hi guys!  We detected a helicopter coming towards up on the radar set.

(Misty, nods):  Yeah. I think it's a friendly craft.  

(Rupee):  How do you know this?

(Misty):  I don't know, I guess I can sense it.

(Rupee, smiles):  Excellent!  You are developing your powers well.

(Linda):  Molly, you ran a great race!

(Molly):  Thanks sis, I could win every race if I was allowed to have a Fred Flintstone foot powered car.

(Misty, giggles):  Then you'd ruin your high heels!

Hotrod rings the door bell and stands there thinking.

(Hotrod): Hmmmm I know they had to hear me fly up. (rubs his chin) I wonder if they are plotting a little trick on me....UUMMMM, no I don't think so.

He remains standing there waiting at the door and laughing at the thought.

(Marauder):  Don't you think we'd better answer the door?

(Ben):  Oh, that's right!   We gave our butler the day off!

Rupee snaps her fingers and the doors open.

(Rupee, smiles):  Please come in!

(Hotrod): Finally!!!!.....I was wondering if I was going to join the iceman there for a minute!  How you all doin’ today?  Sorry for the sudden drop in. 

(Ben):  It's all right, Hotrod.  Please join us.

Hotrod smiles at Ben and shakes his hand. 

(Hotrod):  Thanks Ben.  By the way, I heard Linda is back from that race she was at.  Is she here?

(Linda, smiles):  I'm here, Hotrod!

(Molly, happy):  Me too!

Hotrod hears Linda’s voice, walks into the living room, and sees both her and Molly sitting there smiling.

(Hotrod, smiles):  Ahhh.  I heard you both had an exciting outing at the race.  (Hotrod sits down in a recliner.) Lets hear about it.  And by the way, how was your trip? 

(Linda, smiles):  Well, the trip back home was wonderful, since I was with the most wonderful man in the world!

(Marauder, smiles):  Oh Lassie...

He kisses Linda.

(Molly excited):  You should've seen Linda!  She was great on the track!

(Hotrod, smiles once more):  I bet you both had fun.  I ran the Vertigo in a club race while you all were gone.  My race was not as good though, for I popped the motor.
 
Zima and Stroker Ace walk through the open doors.

(Zima, shouts):  KNOCK! KNOCK!

Hotrod turns and sees Stroker and Zima walk through the door.

(Zima):  Sorry, I couldn't knock on the door since it was open, so I yelled KNOCK! KNOCK!   

(Stroker, rolls eyes):  Yeah, right...

(Hotrod, laughs): Zima, sometimes you crack me up.  So what’s up you two?

(Stroker, walks over to Misty):  Hey babe, where have you been all my life?

(Misty, smirks):  Keeping my distance from you...

(Stroker):  Oh sweetie, all the girls say I'm a dream!

(Misty):  Like a Nightmare from Elm Street.

(Marauder, angry):  Stroker, get your grimy paws off my sister-in-law!

(Stroker):  Back off, doc.  Let the little lady speak...

(Misty, looks him in the eyes):  LEAVE ME ALONE!

(Stroker, blank look):  I obey!

(Misty, embarrassed):  Oops....

(Hotrod, sighs):  Oh brother, here we go again.

(Stroker, laughs):  I heard you won a race, Linda!    (smirks):  That's cause I wasn't racing in it!

(Marauder, angry):  Don't insult my wife, you masher!

(Zima, confused):  Masher?   You mash potatoes too, Stroker?

(Stroker):  Zima, do us all a favor and watch for grass growing in the yard.

(Zima, nods):  OKAY!

Zima walks over to the bay window and stares outside.

(Hotrod):  Stroker, one of these days you are going to bark yourself up a tree and you’re not going to get back down again.

(Stroker, laughs):  Hey, I can beat any woman on the track!

(Molly, sternly):  But Zima is your teammate.  She's a lady.

(Stroker, laughs):  She doesn't count.  Besides, she knows I'm the better racer, just ask her!

(Misty, upset):  You male chauvinist pig!

    (Stroker, nods):  You got it, baby!

Hotrod gets up and walks toward Stroker.

(Hotrod):  Listen up man. For one, she has never mentioned that you were a better racer than her, plus this.  Glory hound junk you are putting up is not going to get you anywhere, dude.  You, as far as I know in this situation, are all bark and no bite.  So cool it.  You best prove it before you say it, dude.

(Stroker, looks over at Linda):  Maybe we can settle this on the track, once and for all, what do ya say, sweet cheeks?

(Linda, upset):  Sweet cheeks?  

(Misty):  Yeah Linda!   Race that jerk and beat him!

(Marauder):  You can do it, dear!  Go out there and kick his butt!

Hotrod looks over to Linda, then to Stroker.

(Hotrod):  I’m sorry dude, but she is a more than formable driver.  You will be hard pressed to beat her.

Hotrod then walks up to Linda and leans to whisper in her ear.

(Hotrod, whispering):  And if you wish, I'll make sure he can’t catch ya.

He then leans back, gives her a wink, and looks back at Stroker.

(Linda, angry):  Look, Mr. 'God's Gift to Women', I can beat you on any track, any time, any day of the week!

(Marauder):  Yeah!

(Stroker, laughs):  You make me laugh!  No lady could EVER outrace me!

(Marauder):  You can laugh now, Stroker, but you'll be crying for your mama when this is all done.

Hotrod then gets in between them.

(Hotrod):  SO, I take that this is a challenge?  If so, I want you two to shake hands but before you do, remember this that once you shake hands, the challenge is wrote in blood, meaning if you bail, namely you, Stroker, you will loose all authority as far as a voice in the racing field. 

Stroker, with great reluctance, shakes hands with Linda.  Hotrod places his hand on theirs.

(Hotrod):  Okay.  It’s a go.  Linda, no you Stroker, mark a time for the challenge to take place and BE reasonable, okay???  (glares at Stroker)

(Stroker):  All right.  Is two months from now reasonable enough?

Hotrod nods and looks to Linda.

(Hotrod):  Do you agree, Linda?

(Linda, nods):  Yes.

(Hotrod):  Okay, time set.  I've got it marked down.  Okay, next, Linda, you choose a track. 

(Linda):  Road America, Elkhart Lake, Wisconsin.

(Hotrod, nods):  Fine.  You agree, Stroker?

(Stroker):  I guess I agree.

(Hotrod):  No guessing, dude.  You either agree or you don't, man.

(Stroker):  All right!  I agree!

(Hotrod):  Fine.  The challenge is set 2 months from now at Road America.  I will call and make the arrangements with the track owner.

(Marauder):  Let's also set a few rules here.

(Hotrod, nods):  Already ahead of you.  There will be 2 major rules here.  #1: NO CHEAP MOVES, like cheating and so forth.  This goes for both sides.  Either one caught cutting through the grass or a sand trap to gain position will forfeit the race.  #2:  Both sides will compete in a calm sportsman like manner.  No fighting and so forth.   Now for the minor rules.   #1:  No bumping unless it can't be avoided.  There will be officials all around the track.  If they see a move in the case of a ramming and deem it on purpose, forfeiture will result.  #2: NO FUEL ADDITIVES.  Your fuel will be tested before the start of the race.  Additives such as propylene oxide or other additives that increase the burn rate of the fuel will not be allowed.  However, additives such as octane booster or alcohol are permitted.  #3:  NO EXTERNAL OXIDIZERS LIKE NITROS OXIDE.  The cars will be inspected before the race.  If a car is found to be equipped with such a system, YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO RUN.  #4:  Final rule, NO excessive lowering below the required or recommended manufacturer limits.  Doing so is not only not allowed but it is dangerous.  If found, you again will not be allowed to run, plus to make it fair both cars will be equipped with # 5 compound medium soft slicks.  I myself will provide the rubber.  Are the rules clear?

(Stroker, surprised):  Geez, those are some strict rules you got there!

(Marauder, glares at Stroker):  You agreed to the challenge!

(Hotrod, looks at Stroker):  These rules are to make it both fair and safe for both sides!  You understand?

(Stroker):  Okay!

(Hotrod):  Okay, rules out of the way, now we can start planning.   And (looks at Stroker) NO SPYING!!!!

(Stroker, upset):  Hey!  Why are you being so hard on me for?

(Hotrod):  Because I know you. 

   (Marauder, sternly):  And don't try to say you don't know what he's talking about either.

(Hotrod): If you are the big driver you say you are, you won't need to spy.  Won't you? 

(Stroker):  I guess not.  After all, no woman can beat me!

Hotrod shoots him a look.

(Hotrod):  We will see. (taps a finger on a table beside him) We will see.

(Linda):  So, what would you like us to do now?

(Hotrod):  Prepare.

Hotrod looks at Stroker.

(Hotrod):  Stroker, if you know what good for you, you better get started on your setup for the race.  This begins from day one.  The one who sits on his tail will lose it, got it?

(Stroker):  I got it! (runs out)

Hotrod looks at Linda.

(Hotrod):  I’m prepared to offer my help to you on any driving or setup requirements you need if you want it.

(Linda, smiles):  Thank you, Hotrod!

(Hotrod):  Molly too, if she wants.

(Molly):  Count me in!

(Hotrod):  Okay.  Well, let’s get going before you know who gets on it, okay?  If you wish, I'll fly you to the setup area when you are ready.  It’s located at my shop in Albany, Georgia. 

(Linda):  Okay.  My racecar is out at Atlanta Motor Speedway.

(Hotrod):  Okay.  Let’s head out to my helicopter and get going.

Marauder, Linda, and Molly follow Hotrod to his helicopter.

(Hotrod):  We’ll stop at the speedway and get Linda’s car.  From there, it’s another hour to my shop.

Hotrod climbs in and starts the engines.  After a few minutes of warm up, Hotrod lifts off, heads west, and disappears in the distance.   Fade.

The scene is at Hotrod's facility located in Albany, Georgia.  Linda, Marauder, and Molly bring in Linda's racecar to upgrade it for the race.  Hotrod runs up to help them push her car into the garage area.  When it is in, he closes the doors.

(Hotrod):  Okay, first things first.  First, we need to discuss the trans type and stuff so I can draw up a diagram for Grumps, my chief machinist.  After that, the fenders and engine cover has to come off. (looks at Linda) Linda I need all the info you can provide on the components in that car, okay?

(Linda):  Okay.

(Hotrod):  Marauder, how are you at handling a UNINUT wheel wrench?

(Marauder):  Well, being a doctor, I have to have steady hands.

(Hotrod, looks to a tall thin Human):  Andy, you see that Ferrari over there?

(Andy):  Yes?

(Hotrod):  I need it on the maintenance lift now. 

(Andy):  Yes sir.

(Hotrod, to Marauder):  Okay, since you say you can do it, I need you to take the wheels off after helping Andy get it up on the ramps, but hold it up against the nut tight, okay?  Because if you don't it bites.

(Marauder):  Okay.  Maybe I should just think of this as performing surgery on a car.

(Hotrod, laughs):  Okay, you do that after you get the wheels off, the Ferrari has a manufacturer ID number on the inside of the fender well.  If you can read it off to me so I can put it in the computer.

Marauder takes the wrench and starts loosening the wheel bolt.  Molly and Linda hold up the wheel so it doesn't fall suddenly.  When the wheels are off, Molly finds the serial number.

(Molly):  I found it!

(Hotrod):  Okay, Molly, ready?

Molly reads the serial number to Hotrod.

(Molly):  4609887612

Hotrod hears her read off the numbers and writes them down.

(Hotrod, confirming):  4609887612?

(Molly):  That's correct.

(Hotrod):  Okay.

He then enters the number into the computer.

(Hotrod, reading the computer screen): UUMMMMMM........Okay, this model is a third generation, which has the updated motor.....GOOOD...That means I don't have to tear down the engine before the blower goes on.

Hotrod gets up and walks to the car.

(Hotrod):  Okay.  That’s out of the way.  We can now start to remove the fenders and engine cover.  (Hotrod walks in a room and reemerges pulling the largest tool box they ever seen and places it besides the car.) Okay folks, I reckon its time to get busy. (He hands Marauder and Molly each an identical tool kit.) Okay, as Marauder I think would say, its surgery time. 

(Marauder, laughs):  I guess you could say that.  Shall I go sterilize?

The others laugh.

(Hotrod, to Linda):  Linda, I need you to pull up any info in any changes on the third generation 45C V12 and advise.  I have a computer over beside Andy’s work area that’s got a T1 connection that you may use.  Password tech451

(Linda):  Okay, you can count on me!

(Hotrod):  I know I can.

He then starts back to work helping Marauder and Molly with removing the front-end components.

(Marauder):  Okay, just show me what you want me to do.

(Hotrod):  Okay, it’s easy.  The fasteners are snap types.  Take that screwdriver and simply turn 90 degrees clockwise and it pops up.  You then GENTLY pull the sheet metal up as you go, okay?

(Marauder):  Okay.

(Molly, smiles):  This won't take long.

Using her super speed, Molly becomes a blur of activity working on the car.

(Hotrod):  MOLLY, slow down, girl!  Preparing for a race requires careful planning.  Speed causes mistakes.

(Marauder):  And besides that, you're making me dizzy!

(Molly, stops):  Oh, I'm sorry.  It's just that I do almost everything fast.

(Hotrod, smiles):  Yes I know, but this is precision work.  The only exception is in the pits where you got to work as fast as you can to get the car out. (turns his head back to Linda) How’s the search goin’?

(Linda, typing):  So far I don't have anything definite...

(Hotrod):  GOOD.  So far, so good.  This could go pretty easily.  (looks back to her) Make sure you find out the compression ratio and read it off to me, okay?  It’s important.  I need the compression ratio so I can calculate the amount of boost I can cram in this thing with out relocating the heads.

Linda finds them and reads them off to Hotrod.

(Linda, reading):  9.2-1

Hotrod nods.

(Molly, smiles):  You're really gearing up for that race with Stroker, aren't you?

(Linda, nods):  YEAH!   I want to beat his pants off!

(Marauder, smiles):  You go, dear!

(Hotrod):  Okay, it’s a smidget low, but I can compensate.  Better be low than high, okay? (makes a call to Grumps, tells him the data, and hangs up) Okay, the boost is set.  All Grumps has to do is make the kit so we can install it. (grins evilly) This joker is going to blow ol’ Stroker boy off the track.

Fade.

A week later, after the modifications have been performed, Hotrod, Molly, Marauder, and Linda, wearing her racing suit, are at the track tuning on the car.

(Marauder, to Linda):  Are you ready to give it a go, my dear?

(Linda, smiles):  You bet I am!

(Hotrod):  But before you do, I need to check the relief valve. (looks to Linda) Get in, start her up, and hit the gas a few times till I tell you to stop.  I need to check to make sure the valve is working correctly.

(Linda, nods):  Right!

She gets in and starts it. 

(Stroker, from behind a barrel):  HELLO LADIES!!

(Molly, upset):  Stroker!  What are you doing here?

Hotrod turns around and looks at Stroker behind the barrel.

(Hotrod, slightly angry):  STROKER!!!!!  What did I say about SPYING!!!!!

(Stroker, smirks):  Who's spying?  I just took me a little' ol' walk and ended up here.   I must've took a wrong turn back there....

(Molly, holding a wrench):  You got five seconds to run or I'll disassemble your tail section!

(Stroker, grins):  Feisty!   I like that in a babe!

Stroker runs as Molly throws the wrench at him.

(Stroker, peeks in):  You missed me, sweet cakes!

(Molly, furious):  I GIVE YOU SWEETCAKES!!!!   

(Hotrod, now very angry):  STROKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You stop right there and answer my question!!!!!  WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SPYING!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Stroker):  Who's spying?   I'm looking for a date.

(Zima, walks over):  How about May 23rd, 1946?

(Hotrod):  WHO'S SPYING!?!?!  Well, dude, you ARE in our pit while I’m tuning.  I call that spying.  And by the way, you best leave the ladies alone.  What you are doing is uncalled for, man.

(Stroker, rolls eyes):  Oh yeah, that's perfect!

(Molly, smiles):  Hi Zima!   Are you going to be racing today?

(Zima):  No, I was banned from this track earlier this year.  How was I to know that this wasn't a horse racing track?  I thought the horse I rented look SO CUTE and....

(Stroker, shakes head):  Zima, you are so full of....

(Molly, shouts):  STROKER!!!

(Stroker, shocked):  I was only going to say "crap"...

(Zima, jumping up and down):  I think he's right, I gotta find the ladies room FAST!!!

Zima runs off towards the grandstand.

(Stroker, shakes head):  She a decent driver, but as sharp as a bag of wet paper sacks.

(Hotrod):  Stroker, I’m going to give you one more chance here, man.  If you do this again, you will forfeit the race before it even begins.  Got it?

(Stroker, backs up):  Hey, hey, easy now, friend.  We're all dogs here, no need to git so high strung.

Hotrod looks at Stroker, shaking his head.

(Hotrod):  Very well.  I'll go easy on you, but the way you showed up here struck me as spying.  And I don't like people showing up unannounced that way.  I don't care if they are Rovers or the Marine Corps.  The stuff I develop including what is contained in this vehicle I like to keep secret.  So don't do that again man.  If you want in, let me know ahead of time, okay?

(Stroker, backs up):  Okay, okay, you win....  (waves):  Bye y'all!

As Stroker runs away, he snickers as he puts his mini camera away in his pocket.

Hotrod watches Stroker leave, and then rubs his chin. 

(Hotrod):  Hmmmm .......I wonder why he left in an awful hurry.  I’d better do a slight change here just in case.

Hotrod walks back to Linda’s car.

(Hotrod):  Okay, Linda, light ‘er up.  I’m going to do a slight change here.  So I want you to bring the RPM up till I tell you to hold it so I can adjust the boost pressure.

(Linda, nods):  Okay.

Linda starts the car and pushes the gas pedal.

Hotrod waits then waves his hand to indicate to her to hold it there.

(Hotrod): Okay, Linda, hold it there till I tell you to release it.

Hotrod then pulls out a special tool and starts twisting on a very high tech looking valve and then a loud whistling hiss is heard.

(Hotrod):  Okay, Linda, let off the gas, but let it idle.  DO NOT shut it down.  The turbo needs to cool for a min before shut down.

Linda takes her foot of the gas.

(Linda, shouting):  How's that?

(Hotrod, shouts back):  ITS GOOD.....OKAY, SHUT ‘ER DOWN.

Linda turns the engine off and gets out.

(Marauder):  I don't know.  I think I saw Stroker put something away in his pocket as he left.

Zima walks back in.

(Zima):  I spell relief... er....well.....  guess I can't spell relief.....

(Marauder, thinking):  Hmm, Zima, what did Stroker tell you not to tell us?

(Zima giggles):  That's easy!   He told me not to tell you about the camera he had hidden in his ring.  But he never did explain to me how he could fit a camera into a ring anyway!   He told me I was an 'Airhead' and walked away.  Do I really have air in my head? (looks in a mirror) I don't see any air in my head!   Do you?

(Marauder, angry):  So he was spying!
 
Hotrod quickly looks up when he hears Marauder.

(Hotrod): WHAT?!?!?!

(Zima, confused):  Who was spying?  All Stroker did was have a camera in his ring, that's all... (embarrassed) OH NO!  He told me not to tell anyone!   He'll be mad at me!

(Marauder, sternly):  That thing I saw him put away in his pocket was a camera!

Hotrod growls, looks in the direction Stroker went, and clenches his fist.

(Hotrod, angry):  That puppy is really in it deep now.

(Zima, scared):  That must be a huge pocket!

(Molly, rolls eyes):  Zima, give your brain a rest before you strain it.

(Zima, turns to her):  That's what Stroker tells me all the time!   I wonder what that means....

(Marauder):  Don't ask!

Hotrod then turns and looks back at the car.

(Hotrod):  Okay, if he wants to play dirty, I can do that just as well. 

(Linda, angry):  That Stroker is such a low life!

(Molly, turns to her):  Zima, you're a member of Stroker's racing team!   How do we know YOU'RE not a spy?

(Zima, scared):  I'm a spy too?  OH NO!!   I DON'T WANT TO BE A SPY!!!

Hotrod walks to Zima and pats her on the shoulder.

(Hotrod): Zima, we’re not calling you a spy.  You just told on one though. (glares in the direction where Stroker went) Okay, like I said, if he wants to play dirty, I CAN do that.   

(Zima):  But I didn't mean to be a spy, I don't even like watching Get Smart on TV!   And by the way, that show's a fraud!   I've been watching it for a year and I'm not any smarter!

(Marauder, rolls eyes):  Oh brother.

Hotrod then walks to Marauder.

(Hotrod):  You said you might have seen him put a camera in his pocket??

(Marauder):  Yes I did.

(Zima, smiles):  That's a relief!  Come to think of it, Stroker told me I couldn't be a spy because I don't have enough brains.  I told him I had plenty of brains and I showed him my last head X-ray to prove it!

(Hotrod, nods and growls):  Okay, I think its time for a change up.  Linda, Marauder, Molly, everyone help me get the engine cover off.  No more mister nice guy.

(Marauder):  You got it!

(Molly, nods):  Just tell me what to do.

(Linda):  Me too!

Hotrod nods once more and looks back at Zima.

(Hotrod):  Zima its okay.  Relax girl, everything is okay.  I’m not blaming you. 

(Zima, smiles):  Thank you.  Would you like for me to help you with your engine?

(Linda, whispers):  She could help us better if she fixed Stroker's engine.

(Marauder, whispers):  Right.

(Hotrod):  Yeah.  That is a good idea.  But, however, I’m not afraid of his setup.  He’s too impatient.

Hotrod looks to Marauder and Linda.

(Hotrod):  Okay, help me get the cover off.  I’m going to do a quick injector change and recalibrate computer.

(Linda, happy):  Zima, why don't you go back to your garage and help Stroker out, after all, fair is fair, right?

(Zima, nods): Right!  That's a great idea!   I'll show him I have brains!

(Marauder, grins):  That would work juuuuuuust fine!

(Hotrod, looks to Zima):  And by the way give him this here switch.  This is legal fuel.  I have a feeling he tampered with the fuel as well.  Do it tonight, okay?

Zima runs off.

(Molly):  Want me to follow her?

Hotrod looks toward Zima and back to Molly and slightly nods.

(Hotrod):  Yeah, but stay out of sight, okay?  And report back to me if he is tampering. 

Molly zips off.

(Hotrod, thinks to himself):  This is going to be one interesting race.

He then cocks an eyebrow and continues to help remove the cover.

(Linda, smiles):  Don't worry.  My sister is an expert at staying out of sight....

Abby and Vicki walk in.

(Linda, under her breath):  Speaking of staying out of sight...

(Abby laughs):  Look Vicki, it's our sister, the grease monkey!

(Vicki, giggles):  And I forgot to bring bananas!

Hotrod gets up and looks back at where Vicki is standing.

(Hotrod, looking puzzled):  Where did you guys come from? 

(Marauder, sternly):  Did you two come here to spy for Stroker?

(Abby, shocked):  Spy?  For that overbearing pompous playboy?

(Vicki, angry):  No way!   He's made too many passes at me!

(Marauder, smiles):  Well, that's probably the smartest thing he does!

(Vicki and Abby, stunned):  WHAT???

(Linda):  Stop it!  Why are you two here?

(Abby smiles):  Relax, we're here to cheer you on!

(Vicki nods):  YEAH!  Beat that idiotic moron Stroker!

(Abby, nods):  Mak'm eat dirt!

(Hotrod, looks to Marauder):  Hey man, take it easy.  I don't think they are here to spy on us.  Stroker is just a plain over grown glory hound. 

Hotrod shakes his head at the thought of how he operates.

(Hotrod):  By the way, Vicki, Abby, what brings you guys here?

(Abby, smiles):  We came to wish you luck!

(Vicki, nods):  Seriously, we do!

(Hotrod):  Okay, since that is settled, lets get busy, so Linda can get this thing on the track .

(Marauder, surprised):  Wow.  I thought I'd never see the day when they'd do this.

(Hotrod, looks at Marauder):  Time brings many surprises, man.  Believe me.

(Linda, whispers):  Honey, Abby and Vicki are my sisters.  We're family, and we Maddogs stick together!

Abby and Vicki each are holding one big metal part.

(Abby, pulls on it):  Vicki!  Let go!

(Vicki, pulls on it):  I'm stuck!  I got epoxy on my hands!

(Abby, shocked):  So do I!  We're stuck!

(Linda, smiles):  Told you we Maddogs stick together!

(Marauder, smiles):  I guess you're right!

Hotrod smiles and laughs. 

(Hotrod):  I see.  Here, take this.  It’s a resin remover, but wash your hands and surrounding fur.  It will discolor it. 

(Abby and Vicki, in shock):  DISCOLOR IT???

(Linda, giggles):  Either that, or you two can stay that way forever.

(Abby and Vicki, together):  Okay.  We'll do it.

(Hotrod):  Yeah.  This stuff is designed to remove Epoxy, but it loves colors, too.  So make sure you wash your hands.  If you do it right after you use it, nothing will happen.  AND since you all are here, how about you two go and get that cart over there with the laptop on it and bring it here?  While you are in my pit, everyone pitches in.

(Abby, nods):  Okay.

(Vicki, happy):  Anything you say.

(Hotrod, smiles):  Thank you. 

Hotrod then turns to Marauder and Linda.

(Hotrod):  Okay, it’s party time!  Time to get busy.

(Marauder, smiles):  You got it!

(Linda, smiles):  Party time!

(Abby and Vicki):  Party time?

(Hotrod, looks to Abby and Vicki):  It’s a racer’s term for time to get the ball rollin’.

(Marauder):  That means it's time to get our hands dirty!

(Hotrod, looking at Marauder):  That’s correct man.  You’re learnin’.

(Abby, shocked):  Dirty hands?

(Vicki, shocked):  Can we just use gloves?

(Hotrod):  If you wish, go over to my toolbox. (points to a huge toolbox) Look in the middle drawer.  You will find a couple pairs of mechanic’s gloves.  Put them on and your hands will not get dirty.

(Abby, smiles):  Thanks!

(Vicki, nods):  We want to help, but stay clean doing it.

(Marauder, rolls eyes):  Weird.

(Linda, smiles):  It's a start.

Hotrod nudges Marauder and whispers. 

(Hotrod, whispering):  It’s a girl thing.  At least they want to help, so let them do it.

He then smiles and gets back to work.

The scene is now at the test track a few weeks later.  Molly, Marauder, Linda, and Hotrod are there preparing for Linda’s test runs, so Linda is wearing her racing suit.  Hotrod opens the garage door in the pit area and starts to push out the car.

(Hotrod):  Linda, Marauder, give me a hand here.

Linda and Marauder lend a hand and push the car out.

(Linda):  Let's hope all of our hard work pays off.

(Marauder):  I sure hope it does.

(Hotrod, smiling):  You'll see.  Okay, Marauder, bring me that big can with the long spout.  It’s full of fuel, so be careful.

Marauder walks over, picks up the can, and brings it back to Hotrod.

(Marauder):  Here you go.

Hotrod takes the can, swings its strap over his shoulder, and presses the spout end into the fueling valve in the car.  A few seconds later, a jet of fuel is sprayed out of the overflow port, and Hotrod pulls the can out and away from the car.

(Hotrod):  Okay, Linda, get in and strap up. 

(Linda, looks all around):  I sure hope that Stroker isn't around here snooping again.

(Hotrod, looks around):  I don't think so. 

Linda gets in and straps up.  Marauder starts to get in the other side, but Hotrod intervenes.

(Hotrod):  Sorry, man, but I need to know the performance specs with only her in the car.  A driver and a passenger will affect its performance. 

(Marauder):  Okay. (gets out)

(Hotrod):  Okay, Linda, you'll notice it does not have a start switch this time.  It’s a modification I made to increase its speed.  By eliminating the starter, I have to start it up from out here.  You just turn on the switch panel and the ignition.

Hotrod goes over to a cart and picks up a slender device with 2 large handles which are directly opposed to each other and goes to the back of the car.

(Hotrod):  Okay, Linda turn ‘er on.  I’m going to light ‘er up.

Stroker Ace is hiding in the bushes with binoculars.

(Stroker, whispers):  I gotta see what that crazy collie's up to.

Marauder notices movement in the bushes.  He grabs a garden water hose with a spray head, walks over, and sprays the bushes.

(Stroker, snickers):  That was my decoy bush!   No one will find me behind this bush...

(Zima, standing behind him, shouts):  HI STROKER!

Stroker pulls Zima out of sight.

(Stroker, hushed tone):  SHHH!  Quiet you dingy broad!

Marauder walks over to the right bush and sprays it mercilessly.

(Stroker, screams):  HEY!!!

(Zima, looks down):  This must be one of those wet T-shirt contests!   Darn!   I wore a jacket!

(Stroker, upset):  Shut up and RUN!

(Marauder, sternly):  Caught you!

(Hotrod, pokes his head out from behind Linda’s car):  STROKER!!!!  That better not be you! 

(Zima, confused):  Is this a game?  Who's IT now?  I just love games!

(Hotrod, goes back behind the car and mumbles):  Yep. 

(Stroker, defensive):  It's a good thing you guys are here! (points at Zima) I caught Zima spying on you!

(Marauder, not convinced):  A likely story!

(Zima, confused):  I was?

(Stroker):  Yep!  Caught you red handed!

(Zima, looks at her hands):  But my hands are gray!

(Hotrod):  I know better than that.  Zima is not as sneaky as you.  So I know darn good and well it was not her.  So you better get your tailed butt out of here NOW!!!!!!!!!!

(Stroker):  Ask her, she'll confess!

(Zima):  Confess to what?

(Stroker):  To being a spy!

(Zima):  I'm a spy?  OH NO!!  I DON'T WANNA BE A SPY!!!  SPIES GET SHOT AND IF I GOT SHOT THAT'D RUIN MY DAY!!  

Zima sobs.  Marauder grabs a can of paint.  He sprays Stroker's hands red.

(Marauder):  Looks like you're the one who's red-handed now!

(Stroker, upset):  HEY!!!

(Hotrod):  Stroker, you can't fool me, man.  Zima is no spy so stop blaming her for something she did not do.  It’s you that’s spying and you know it dude. 

Molly zips over.

(Molly, upset):  Stroker!  What did you tell Zima to get her so upset?

(Zima, sobs):  I'm a spy!  He told me so!

(Molly, growls):  Stroker!   Stop telling her things like that!   That was like the time you told Zima it was her fault that the moon was full!

(Zima, confused):  It wasn't?

Hotrod goes and takes Zima off to the side.

(Hotrod):  Zima, you are no spy.  I know you better than that, so relax.  Don't believe everything he says, girl.

(Zima, relieved):  Whew!  I'm glad I'm not a spy... (brightens):  Oh yeah!  Now I know what I was here to do!   I have a phone message for Stroker!   

(Hotrod, looks at her):  A phone message?

(Stroker):  So?  What is it?

(Zima, confused):   Something about your boat being repossessed.  Was it haunted?

(Stroker, shouts):  OH NO!!  I forgot to make the payment!   I gotta hurry!

Stroker runs off.

(Marauder, laughs):  That'll keep him busy for a while!

(Hotrod, laughs):  Yes, indeed.

(Marauder, to Hotrod):  Maybe it is a good thing I'm not riding with her during these runs.  I could keep an eye out for Stroker.

(Hotrod, nods):  Yeah, good idea.  And don't let the crazy idiot into my file box.  That will mess everything up. 

(Zima, confused):  I still don't understand.  If ghosts are in Stroker's boat, why can't they make the payments?

(Molly, rolls eyes):  I'll explain it to you later, Zima.

(Hotrod):  Okay, Linda, you ready to run this thing?

(Linda):  Ready to roll!

Hotrod goes to the back of the car and gets ready to connect the starter.

(Hotrod):  Okay, Linda, turn on the ignition.  Remember, I have the starter.  Put it in neutral and I'll do the rest.

(Linda):  Roger!

(Zima, looks around):  Who's Roger?

Hotrod connects the starter and prepares to spin it over.  He hits the button on the starter motor, then a gear sound is heard, and the car fires up.  Hotrod then removes the starter.

(Hotrod):  Okay, Linda, take ‘er out and do a warm up lap and get the feel of the car.  Report back to Marauder on the condition and handling of the car and he'll tell me, okay?

Linda puts on her helmet and goggles, and drives out of the pit.

Later, Linda is zooming around the track.  Marauder smiles as he watches his wife.

(Hotrod, smiles):  Looks good girl.  Keep it up. 

(Linda, on radio):  Roger that!

(Zima, confused):  WHO'S ROGER??

(Hotrod, looks to Zima):  It’s radio slang for okay. 

(Zima):  Oh....  Does that mean I don't get to meet Roger?

(Marauder):  I think so.

(Zima, sad):  AWWWWW!!!   I never get to meet new people....

Hotrod laughs. 

(Hotrod):  Marauder, ask Linda how it’s doing, and tell her to keep an eye on the oil temp.

(Marauder, talking into the radio):  How's it holding, dear?

(Linda):  It's running like a clock, dear!

(Marauder):  Hotrod said to keep an eye on the oil temperature.

(Hotrod):  It’s an exhaust driven turbo, so the oil temp has to be kept in check.  If it reaches 210 degrees, report to me and return to the pit.

(Linda):  Roger that!

(Hotrod, smiles):  It’s running near perfect. 

(Marauder):  I can hardly wait until the race is over.  If it runs that good now, I wonder how it'll do when I ride in it with her.

Later, Linda returns to the pits and gets out of the car, looking happy.

(Hotrod, comes up):  You were excellent, Linda.  I think the car is ready.  Shall we make preparations to go to the big one?

(Linda, happy):  You bet!

Hotrod starts to put his tools away, makes a call to Grumps to get the transport rig ready, and hangs up.

(Hotrod):  Okay, the rig is being readied.  Shall we start to get things ready?

(Marauder):  Okay.  Let's go.

(Hotrod):  We’ll do.

Fade.  The scene is at Hotrod's facility, the next day.  The team is there preparing to travel to the race site.

(Hotrod):  Okay, make sure the steering wheel is unobstructed while I hook the winch to the car.

Hotrod hooks the tow strap to a hard point on her car.  Hotrod then goes and activates the winch to pull Linda’s car on the lift ramp. 

(Linda, smiles):  I hope they take good care of my ride, Hotrod.  I know I can beat that loud-mouthed southern fried hound on the track!

(Abby, nods):  Yeah, sis!  He needs an attitude adjustment!

Hotrod looks to Abby while he’s loading her car onto the ramp and nods.

(Hotrod):  YEAH.  Tell me about it, and I intend to help give it to him.

(Molly, looks at Abby):  Did he flirt with you too, sis?

(Abby, growls):  The only lady he DIDN'T flirt with was Zima!

(Linda, smiles):  That's because her boyfriend is huge and warned him NOT to!

(Abby, sighs):  Well, that and the fact that Zima's a total dunce.

Marauder walks out.

(Marauder):  There she is!  The woman who's going to beat Stroker Ace Hounddog!

(Linda, smiles):  You know it, sweetie!

He goes up and kisses Linda.

Hotrod loads Linda’s car up on the ramp and pushes a button.  It starts to lift and then, the car slowly moves in to the upper car storage rack.

(Hotrod):  Okay, now the tools and starting equipment and we’re done. 

(Molly, snickers):  I told Stroker that if he didn't leave me alone, I'd have my boyfriend change him into a woman!  

(Abby, evil grin):  Now THAT I'd like to see!   It would serve that pigheaded man right!

(Marauder):  For once, Abby, I totally agree with you!

(Molly, laughing):  Imagine!   Strokerette Hounddog, southern belle!

(Abby, laughs):  More like a ding a ling!

Hotrod hears the conversation as he is pushing his huge toolbox and chuckles.

(Hotrod):  Yeah, and put pigtails on him and make that hotheaded glory hound look like a canine Dorothy!

(Marauder, laughs):  Now THAT would be funny!

Zima now walks over to the group, looking very confused.

(Marauder):  Zima, what are you doing here?

(Hotrod, sees Zima and nods):  Likewise, why are you here?

(Zima confused):  That's what I was wondering.   Stroker drove me here and told me to get out.  Said that he wanted to drive to the track alone.  He said something about wanting to be seen by all the hot chicks!   When I asked him what farm he was going to get the chicks from, he drove away!

(Molly, grows):  Typical!   Stroker didn't want to be seen with another girl.   He's ALWAYS on the prowl!

(Hotrod, laughs loudly):  Sorry, girl.  I had to laugh. (calms down) Yeah, that’s cruel.  

(Zima, sadly):  The least Stroker could've done was left me a car to drive to the track.

(Hotrod):  Stroker will meet his match some day.  He's going to pick on someone and get his tailed butt beat. (surprised, to himself) Zima making sense?  Wow, small world. (out loud) Yeah, he's a total inconsiderate nutcase.

(Linda, smiles):  C'mon Zima, you can ride with us!

(Zima, happy):  Really?  That's very nice of you!  Thanks!

(Marauder, smiles):  No problem.

(Hotrod):  Yeah, Zima, come on and join us for the ride up there.

(Zima, confused):   Hey Marauder, what's a slut?   Is that like the machines they have in Vegas, the slut machines?

(Marauder):  Zima, don't ask!

(Hotrod, looks at Zima):  Zima, never mind. (to himself) Oh brother.

(Zima, shrugs):  Okay, it's just that Stroker said something about beating the pants off of that slut....

(Hotrod, whips around):  He said what?

(Marauder, angry):  Oh, now he's in for a world of hurt!

(Zima, confused):  Why?   Neither of you guys live in Vegas, right?

(Abby, growls):  NO ONE calls my sister a slut!    I'LL give him a hot foot that won't quit!!!!

(Marauder, growls):  Just make sure you get to him before I do, because there won't be anything left!!!!!

(Hotrod):  Okay. Abby, settle down.  We need professionalize here.  You'll get your chance I promise ya.  Stroker is really getting on my nerves as well.

(Molly, growls):  I'll disassemble him in five seconds flat!

Marauder turns and sees Linda, who is nearly in tears.  He goes up to her and hugs her.

(Marauder):  Honey, what's wrong?

(Hotrod, thinking to himself):  I can't believe that we are going to race against such a loser.  This punk needs an attitude adjustment.

(Linda, sobs):  How could that flea bitten Casanova stoop to name-calling!

(Molly, sternly):  He's just trying to rattle you, sis, don't let it get to you!

(Zima, confused):  I'm lost, what is a slut?

(Marauder, sternly):  It's that jerk who left you here.

Hotrod takes Zima by the arm and takes her to the side.

(Hotrod):  Zima, a slut is a name used for the lowest of low like women.  It’s a slang word.  You'll figure it out, but its something that is not to be used. 
 
Hotrod goes up to the sobbing Linda.

(Hotrod):  Linda, names are just that names.  You are no such thing as what he referred you to, as you are a very good minded and good-natured person.  Don't let him beat you down.  He's using psychological tactics to beat you down to make you lose confidence.  Anger will hurt you too, so keep that chin up. 

Marauder takes out a handkerchief and wipes away Linda's tears.

(Marauder):  Hotrod's right, my dear.

(Abby, growls):  We'll show'm!   

(Hotrod):  Yes, Linda, he’s trying to make you angry and upset ...trying to psych you out so you'll won't be able to perform.  We’ll ignore him and his lame brained comments. 

Linda nods.

(Marauder):  Come on.  Let's get going.

Hotrod prepares to get going and loads his toolbox in the trailer. 

(Marauder, with his arm around Linda):  Lassie, you're not a slut.  In fact, you're one of the most generous people in the world.

Marauder and Linda climb into the rig and take their seats.

(Hotrod)  Hold on.  I have someone else comin’.  She just paged me and will be here in about 5 minutes.

(Marauder):  Okay.

Five minutes later, a female black lab cano-sapien with her hair in a ponytail walks in and up to Hotrod.

(Alana):  Hello, Rodder.  Whatcha up to right now?

(Hotrod, looks to the others):  Everyone, this is Alana.  She is, you might say, a VERY close friend of mine.  She is going to join us as a spotter, so we'll have a way to keep track on that overblown hotheaded loud mouth.  

Marauder and Linda walk to Alana.

(Marauder):  Good to meet you.

(Linda):  Welcome Alana!

(Molly):  Hi!  I'm Molly, these are my sisters Linda and Abby.

(Zima):  I'm Zima, and I'm not a sister.

(Hotrod, looks to Alana):  What am I up to?  You know the answer to that.

Alana looks to the others and shakes their hands.

(Alana):  It’s a pleasure.

Alana then looks to Hotrod, walks to him, and jabs him in the ribs.

(Alana):  I know that. (laughs) Anyway, lets get goin’.

They climb into the rig.  Molly gets in the driver's seat and starts it up.  Alana and Hotrod get in and sit in the rear bunk.  Marauder and Linda sit behind Molly.  As soon as everyone is in, Molly puts the rig in gear and drives off.

(Hotrod):  Molly, remember.  This thing has the easy steering box so it’s a little slow on the steering. 

(Molly):  Okay.  What about the acceleration?

(Hotrod):  It’s okay for a 60,000-pound rig, but don't under estimate it.  It’s not governed.  Our last driver had it up to 120 mph one time.

(Molly):  I guess I'd better take it easy on the gas pedal.

(Hotrod):  Yes you do.  It don't handle well at high speeds.  Alana here drove it once and it almost got away from her.  She has driven the Diesel Rover once and did well, but this rig is much heavier than the Diesel Rover, so it acts differently.

(Molly):  I understand.  I drove the Diesel Rover a few times when DJ was with the Road Rovers.

(Hotrod):  Yeah.  That was a good rig.   DJ was a well-respected mechanic.

(Molly):  Indeed.

(Hotrod):  Okay, Molly, get on I-75 and keep goin’ until you get to Chattanooga. 

Fade.  Later that day, they are on an interstate highway.  Marauder has his arm around Linda as she naps on his shoulder.  Hotrod is sitting in is seat, while Alana, who has fallen asleep, is laying against his shoulder.  Yet Hotrod remains awake as he does some calculating in his laptop computer.  He notices Marauder sitting quietly.

(Hotrod, quietly):  Hey man, you okay?  You’re awfully quiet.

(Marauder):  I'm fine.

(Hotrod):  Looks like Molly has gotten used to the rig.  She's doing well. 

(Marauder):  All those years with DJ have rubbed off on her.

(Hotrod):  Yep, and she has turned out to be a good one.

(Marauder, looks at the sleeping Linda):  This one here has become very good on the track.  Wait a minute.  Make that excellent on the track.

(Hotrod):  You beat me to it.  (He looks at the sleeping Alana and points to her.)  She ain't to bad either but she's still learnin’ though.

Marauder smiles as he looks at his sleeping wife.

(Abby):  I can't believe I'm saying this, but Linda is so good at racing.

(Hotrod):  Yes.  She is a good racer who could have a career in it and be up on top.  Alana here is presently in the shifter cart class, and she is doing well.  But don't cut a shifter cart down.  They run fast enough to scare Evel Knievel.  Even I have respect for them. (laughs)

(Abby):  Well, Linda is an excellent lawyer as well.  I don't know if it would be right to give up a successful career.

(Hotrod):  Yeah, I know.  I was just saying that if she pursued it, she could find a driving position in no time. 

(Marauder):  Well, until she's ready, I think she'd like to continue doing it for fun.

(Hotrod):  Yeah, no sense in rushin’ into things.  There is no hurtin’ in racin’ for fun. 

Fade.  It is now evening.  The rig now passes a sign that reads:  REST AREA 1 MILE

(Molly):  Looks like we'd better stop for the night.  I'll pull into that rest area ahead.

(Hotrod, looks on and nods):  Yeah.  Some states don’t allow overnight truck driving.  Good idea, Molly.

The rig pulls off the interstate and into the rest area.  Molly stops the truck and switches off the ignition.

(Hotrod):  Okay. Anything we need to discuss before we hit the beds?  Now is a good time. (He looks at his watch, which reads 12:45 a.m.) We can talk a little before we hit it.

(Zima, confused):  What are we going to hit the beds with?   Won't the hotel manager be angry with us?

(Abby, rolls eyes):   Not as angry as he was when you tried to make a pot of coffee in that blender.

(Zima):  OH!  So THAT'S what I did wrong....

(Hotrod, sighs):  Zima, you’re a nice girl, but you got to pay attention a little more, okay? 

(Zima, looks in purse):  Attention... hmmmm... how much does that cost?

(Linda, shocked):  What?

(Zima, looks in purse):  Hotrod said I had to pay attention, so...

(Abby, rolls eyes):  Give it up, sis.  She's so dense, she thinks a pigpen is something to write with.

(Zima, shocked):  You mean... it isn't?

(Hotrod):  Zima, it isn't.  It’s very hard to write with a pig okay?

Alana starts to giggle at Hotrod’s comment.

(Hotrod, looking at Alana with an eye brow raised):  What’s so funny? 

Alana gives Hotrod a quick look and starts giggling again.

(Alana):  YOU...what you said.

(Hotrod):  Ummm....okay.  Never mind.  I don't want to know. 

Hotrod then gives a quick glance at the surrounding group.

(Hotrod):  Anything we need to talk about before we hit…errr (glancing at Zima) go to bed?

(Abby, smiles):  I guess all us ladies will be bunking together.

(Linda, clears throat):  AHEM!!!

(Abby):  Okay, all of us ladies EXCEPT Linda...

(Linda, turns to Marauder):  That's better!

(Marauder, smiles):  You got it!

(Zima, shouts):  I CALL SHOTGUN!!

(Molly, confused):  Shotgun?

(Zima, excited):  YEAH!  I want the bed nearest the window!

(Molly, confused):  Why?

(Zima, smiles):  So the noise will go out the window when I snore, silly!

(Abby, upset):  YOU SNORE???

(Zima, nods):  Well, my friends tell me I do, but I've never actually heard myself do it before.

(Marauder):  Nobody does, Zima.

Hotrod looks to Zima and cocks an eyebrow.

(Hotrod):  Okay, I thought my buddy is a foghorn while he sleeps, but now we have a female foghorn?  This is going to be interesting.

(Abby, upset):  I have NO intention of sleeping next to a foghorn!

(Linda, smiles):  Then sleep outside.

(Abby, shocked):  With all of those awful insects and street noises?  NO WAY!!

Alana gives Zima a puzzled look.

(Alana):  Okay, I’m not sleeping in the same area as her. 

(Linda, calmly):  We can either stand here and talk about this all night, or we can get some sleep.  Which is it?

(Zima, smiles):  I like talking!   

(Abby, upset):  I vote for SLEEP!  And let Zima sleep OUTSIDE!

(Hotrod):  Then, umm, Alana, unless you want to sleep on the drivers seat, the way the sleeping arrangements are going, there won't be any room left. 

(Marauder):  Do you have any earplugs then?

(Hotrod):  Well I do BUT your going to have to go and dig around in the safety box in the trailer, and they’re not plugs.  They are full ear protectors.

(Marauder):  That's not going to be comfortable.

(Zima, smiles):  I can sleep in the driver's seat!   I just hope I don't sleep-drive.

(Hotrod):  Umm....NO.  No driver seat sleeping for you, Zima.  

(Abby, sigh of relief):  Thank goodness.

(Hotrod):  I guess I'll take the top bunk.  It’s the only one empty. 

(Zima, happy):  YAY!!  Then I get to share a bunk with you, Abby!

(Abby, shocked):  ME??

(Zima, nods):  Yeah!   It'll be fun like a slumber party!   We can stay up all night and tell ghost stories...

(Abby, roars out):  BOOOOO!!!

Zima hurries into her bunk and pulls the covers over herself, shaking.

(Abby, evil grin):  Problem solved.

(Linda, upset):  ABBY!!

(Abby, shrugs shoulders):  What?

(Alana, looking at Hotrod):  Hey, where am I going to sleep?

(Hotrod):  Ummmm.... I didn't think of that.  Hmmmm……Well, you can sleep with Zima? 

(Alana):  You know I’m not going to do that.  I can't sleep when someone is snoring next to me. 

(Abby, smiles):  We could always muzzle Zima!

(Hotrod, looking at Abby):  Tempting, but that wouldn't be very nice. 

(Abby):  Who cares about nice? (grabs a rope) I'll tie her snoot shut!

(Hotrod):  Abby, that will cut off her airway.  You, being a Cano, know that. 

(Abby, upset):  I knew you'd find something wrong with my plan!  Oh well, I'll sleep on the floor then....

(Hotrod, to Alana):  Well, you won't sleep in Zima’s bunk and you can't sleep in the front bunk or drivers seat because it would destroy your back.  Then what are you gonna do, sleep on the floor?

Hotrod then looks back over to Zima.

(Hotrod):  Zima, tell you what.  You get in your bunk and I'll put a piece of sound deading material over your bunk opening.  That should work for the night. 

Zima nods, still too scared to look out from under her blanket.  Alana pulls on Hotrod’s shirt and he turns around and looks at her.

(Hotrod):  Yeah?

(Alana):  Got an idea that will solve this problem.  Abby needs a spot to sleep and the floor is too rough.

(Hotrod, looking at her curiously):  Oh?  What’s the plan?

Alana gives him one of her strange looks.

(Hotrod):  Ummm, I know that look.  What do you got on your mind?

(Alana):  Well, there is only one bunk left that is a quiet space and that is yours.  Abby needs to have a comfortable place to sleep.  I don't want her sleeping on the floor.

Hotrod gives Alana a strange look.

(Hotrod):  Ummm, I dunno, Alana.

(Alana):  Why not?  I trust you, and it will fix this problem.  And besides, you won't fall out of the bunk this time. 

(Hotrod, giving her a slight look of embarrassment):  You had to say that?

(Alana):  Well, it’s true.

The others try to keep straight faces.

(Hotrod, rolls his eyes and sighs):  Well......I guess your right as usual .....Ummm, okay, very well. 

(Alana, smiles):  Besides, you won't break your nose this time. 

Hotrod looks around to the others who are trying their best to keep normal faces and nods again.

(Hotrod):  Okay.
  
(Alana):  Okay, Abby, the problem is fixed.  In that corner, there is a fold out single person bed.  You can open it up and sleep there. 

(Abby, smiles):  Thanks!  I'll take it!

(Alana, smiles):  Okay, no problem.  Come on, Rodder.  We all need sleep.  Let’s hit the sack.

(Hotrod):  Okay.  Oh, by the way, Abby, the folder is supported by a chain.  It feels solid, but it will pull out if you don't pull down the support post.  It’s directly under the front edge.  Pull it down before you lay down okay?

(Abby):  Okay.

With that, Alana and Hotrod go to the top bunk, get in, and lay down.

(Alana, in a quiet voice):  One thing?

(Hotrod, quietly):  What?

(Alana, in a quiet joking tone):  Don't fall out of the bed. (giggles)

(Hotrod):  Ahh, quiet.  Go to sleep. 

With that, they all fall asleep.

Early the next morning, everyone is still asleep.  Hotrod and Alana are in the top bunk asleep.  Hotrod, in a nightmare, suddenly and violently jerks and kicks himself airborne rolling completely over Alana, out of the top bunk, and hitting the metal floor face down in a thunderous thud.  He lays there for a few seconds before everything registers to his sleepy mind.

(Abby, screams):  WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON???

(Hotrod, groans):  EEEYYYYYOOOOOWWWWW!  Crud, I did it again.  Why do I have to be haunted by metal floors in the middle of the night?  Sheesh.

Alana, who was awaken by Hotrod when he did his little roll over her, pokes her head out and down and sees Hotrod, who is now still drowsy sitting in his Serious Sam tank top laying his back against the beds cursing. 

(Alana, looking down at him and shaking her head):  Well, Hotrod, you did it again.  What condition is your nose in this time, hmmmm?

(Abby, upset):  What are you barking about, Hotrod?

(Hotrod, shaking his head):  Well, I thought puttin’ Alana on the outside would stop me from takin’ that painful trip.  BUT I guess I was wrong, and made like big foot and rolled right over her. (He then feels his nose and curses again.) Dang, I broke it again. 

Marauder wakes up.

(Marauder):  Okay, what just happened?

(Abby, upset):  It's bad enough I have to sleep in these primitive conditions but now I have to tolerate these fits of yelling?  

(Hotrod, looking to Abby):  Hey, listen.  I can't help it if my nose has a death wish.  Sheesh. 

Alana giggles at what Hotrod just said.

(Alana):  Well, well, Roddie.  It then looks like the nose gremlin struck again.

She then keeps giggling.

(Alana): And by the way, Roddie, you look good in that Serious Sam tank top. (gives a mock wink to him)  

Hotrod shoots her a look, and then it registers to him that he is in his tank top and drops and shakes his head.

(Hotrod):  Here we go.

Marauder gets up and looks at Hotrod's nose.

(Marauder):  Well, looks like you dinged it up.  Let me get my medical kit.

    Hotrod then looks at the small amount of blood on his finger and nods.

(Hotrod):  Yeah, and its not the only time I've done it. 

(Linda):  Oh my!  I'll get some bandages.

(Abby, upset):  While you're at it, sis, bring me some sleeping pills, ones that act FAST!

(Alana, still giggling at Hotrod):  Yeah, all from encounters with the floor!  Ha ha!

(Hotrod, shoots her another look):  Yeah.... right.

(Alana):  And I think that tank top still looks good on ya. 

Hotrod looks at Alana and shakes his head.

(Marauder, surprised):  You mean that's not the only time he's done that?

(Alana, still in a giggle):  NOPE!!!!  He did it the last time I went with him.  He has a habit of falling out of bunks.

(Hotrod, giving her a mock mean look):  Now you let it out. (in a low voice) At least none of the others are playing with me about my tank top.

(Abby, rolls eyes):  Oh just peachy!

(Linda, stands between them):  This is getting us nowhere.  If we don't hurry, Stroker's going to beat us to the track!

(Hotrod, nods in agreement):  Yeah, good idea.

(Alana, nods smiling toward Hotrod):  Yeah, we'll take care of him.

(Hotrod, sees what is coming and lays his head back in a sigh):  Oh brother.

(Marauder):  Molly, go start the rig and get us going while we work on Hotrod.

    (Molly, yawns and stretches):  Right! 

Alana then pokes Hotrod in the chest.

(Alana, in a joking voice):  Wow, nice.  I have my own Hulk Hogan to play with. (gives him a mock grin)

Molly puts her sneakers on.  Then, she goes up and gets in the driver's seat, starts the motor, and gets them back on the road again.

(Hotrod, looks up at Alana):  Alana, you’re just lucky I didn't grab ya by the tail when I went down.  Then, who would be laughing then?  Hmmm?

(Marauder):  Okay, that's enough.  We've got more important things to worry about, like beating a glory hound.

Alana then gives Marauder one of her innocent looks.

(Alana):  Awww.  I was just startin’ to have fun.

Hotrod nods to Marauder and quietly says thanks to him. 

Alana then starts pulling stuff out of her med kit, but still pokes him in the side making Hotrod jump and she leans near his ear.

(Alana, whispering):  This ain't over yet boy!  Hee hee!

(Hotrod, sighs):  I’m never gonna hear the end of this one.  Sheesh.

Alana then starts to work on Hotrod’s nose still teasing him as she does.

(Marauder, rolls eyes):  I hear too much like that from some certain sisters-in-law.

Hotrod sighs and looks over to Marauder.

(Hotrod):  All this over me in a tank top. 

(Marauder):  Alana, put yourself in his place.  Would you like it if somebody teased you?

(Alana):  Me in his place bein’ teased?  Ha ha!  I'd would enjoy it!  No, seriously, it’s just all in fun.  He had this comin’ for a long time. 

Alana them lightly pokes Hotrod again and smiles to him.

(Alana):  And by the way, he likes it! 

(Marauder, to Linda):  Not!

(Hotrod):  Well........

(Alana):  Admit it, Roddie.

(Hotrod):  Wellll........(He sighs knowing he's been beat.) Yeah, sometimes.

Hotrod turns to Marauder.

(Hotrod):  It’s okay, Marauder.  We tease each other like this sometimes.  It’s all good.  Don't worry about it.

Hotrod then swings his head to look at Alana and dishes out some mild teasing of his own.

(Hotrod):  Don't think I’m stickin’ up for ya, girly dog. (He then pokes her in the ribs.)  Gotcha.  Now get to work.  We have a long way to travel and a short time to get there.

Alana gives him a look in surprise and chuckles.  With that, Alana gets to work on Hotrod’s now swelling nose.

     (Marauder, working on Hotrod's nose):  Besides, teasing is what got us into this contest.

(Hotrod, nods):  Yeah, tell me about it, and it’s all because of a certain overgrown big mouth.  I’m going to enjoy seeing Linda blow his doors off.

(Linda, nods):  So will I!

(Molly, nods):  Me too!

(Zima, nods):  Me too!   (scared):  Oops, Stroker's my teammate... I think...

(Hotrod, glances to Zima):  Well, you’re with us.  So I don't think your a part of his team anymore.  Because of that, I wouldn't worry about that punk.

(Molly, nods):  Hotrod's right!   That no good hound left you here because he wanted to go to the racetrack alone.  

(Linda, growls):  What a mean guy he is!

(Marauder, sternly):  Indeed.  I can't wait to see my wife kick his tail!

(Hotrod, nods):  Yes.  That dude has a definite attitude problem.  If I was alone with him with some of the stuff he said to Linda almost a month back, he would be in the hospital.  Where I’m from, I don't take verbal abuse like that with out a fight!!

Molly turns on the radio.  It's a sports program.

(Announcer):  Ladies and gentlemen, I have here one of the racers of the upcoming challenge race, one Stroker Ace Hounddog....

(Stroker):  HELLO LADIES!!

(Announcer):  Err.. Stroker is a cano-sapien.  

(Stroker):  And a very WELL BUILT one, if ya know what I mean!

Hotrod's head quickly turns to the radio.

(Hotrod, sternly):  TURN THAT UP!  It’s that butt head, Stroker!!

(Announcer):  Any predictions on the race?

(Stroker):  That's easy, bud, I'll win the race hands down!   That Linda Maddog will probably break a nail on the first turn and have to leave to get an emergency manicure!

(Linda, growls):  BREAK A NAIL???

(Marauder, sternly):  In your dreams, you filthy animal!

(Hotrod, growls deeply):  That’s it! No more mister nice guy!  That furry punk is goin’ down!   And when we get there, I’m going to tie him upside down from a tree!!!!

(Marauder, angry, to Hotrod):  You'd better get to him before I do, because there won't be anything left!

(Announcer):  You sound very confident, Mr. Hounddog.

(Stroker):  This race is in the bag!  I'm a better driver, better than ANY woman!

(Announcer):  Better than your Crazy Eight's teammate Inspector Zima?

(Stroker, laughs):  I only keep her on the team to make ME look good!

(Hotrod):  HMMM.  That punk has no idea what he's messin’ with. (looks at Marauder) Well, I don't think he'll be in any better shape with me either.

(Zima, lowers head):  I thought he wanted me on the team because I was a good racer...

(Hotrod): ZIMA!?!?  Come here.  I want to talk to you. 

(Zima, nods):  Okay.

Hotrod leads Zima to a separate area.

(Hotrod):  Zima, let me tell ya somethin’ about Stroker.  That dude is what I call a leach.  He uses people for his own benefit and cares for no one else.  He had no intention on allowing you to drive.  I’m sorry, Zima, but he is a bully and uses others for his own gain.  If I were you, Zima, I would not get to cozy with him.  He will do to you just as he did back at the test track.......leave you out in the cold.  I’m sorry. 

(Zima, sadly):  You're right, Hotrod.  People take advantage of me all the time, like the guy back in the squad room who wanted to play doctor with me!  I knew he wasn't a doctor!   No stethoscope!

(Hotrod, chuckles and nods):  Heh heh, okay.

He then leads him back to the group listening to the radio.

(Announcer):  We're almost out of time, fans are wondering, are you truly a male chauvinist?

(Stroker):  If y'all's askin' if I like the ladies, YOU BET I DO!   I'M AVAILABLE!!  COME OUT TO THE TRACK AND SEE ME IN PERSON!!!

(Marauder, sternly):  That's not what he asked you, stupid!

Hotrod, who is holding a glass, hears Stroker’s remarks and crushes the glass mug in anger.

(Announcer):  Er... thank you Stroker Ace Hounddog...

(Stroker):  Thank you, come to the race and watch me put Linda Maddog in her place... THE KITCHEN!!!

(Linda, shouts):  KITCHEN???

(Hotrod):  That good for nothin’ glory hound better shut it or I’m gonna do it for him! 

Marauder stands up and hurls a book at the radio.  The book hitting the radio startles Molly, who accidentally swerves the rig.

(Molly, shouts):  Hey!   Watch it back there!

(Marauder):  I'm sorry, Molly.

Alana goes over to Marauder.

(Alana):  Marauder, come on and sit down.  This is getting’ too much.  (She then looks to Molly.) Molly, please shut off the radio.  It’s causing undue friction with Hotrod and Marauder.  

Molly turns it off.

(Hotrod):  If you all will excuse me, I’m goin’ in the back to calm down for a minute. 

(Marauder, growls):  I swear, I'm going to kill that jerk once I see him.

(Zima, shocked):  Kill him!   That might hurt...

(Marauder, angry):  The way he talks about my wife makes me want to tear him to pieces!

(Alana, nods):  And that sounds like a good idea for you as well, Marauder.  Let’s calm down for a minute, hmmm?

(Linda, growls):  After I make him eat dust on the racetrack, I'm make'm eat REAL DIRT TOO!!!

Alana hears a bang in the back and turns around.

(Alana):  I’m gonna check on Rodder.  I'll be back. 

Alana gets up from her seat and walks back to the area Hotrod is at.

(Alana, with a slight frown on her muzzle):  Rodder, what the heck is goin’ on back here?

Hotrod gives a slight look of surprise and then looks down and grumbles.

(Hotrod):  Alana, I’m sorry, but this Stroker dude is gettin’ on my nerves bad with the way he's treatin’ Linda and the others, and goin’ as far as cuttin’ us down on the AIR!  For Pete’s sake, that doesn't sit well with me at all, Alana.  And besides, HE KNOWS that Linda is goin to tear him a new one, and yet he still goes this far.  If I were in the same room alone with him, I would be in jail for beatin’ him to a pulp.

(Alana, nods):  Yes, true, Roddie.  But this still don't give ya a license to beat up the equipment back here you know.  Don't let this jerk get to ya, dear.  It will make things miserable for you, me, and everyone else.

(Hotrod, with his head looking down and then giving her a side long glance):  Yeah, I know, Alana, but you know, I can't stand seein’ someone else cut down my buddies like that.  You've known me long enough to realize that by now. 

(Alana):  Yes, I know.  But punchin’ walls won't help ya.  It is only a temporary relief.  And with a guy like you, as strong as you are, it won't help the equipment any more either. (gives him a wink)

(Hotrod, chuckles):  Yeah.  I guess your right as usual. 

(Alana, nodding and then flashing him a smile):  Yes I am.  For I know you and you're a reasonable guy.  That’s one of the reasons why I like you. (She leans in and gives him a hug.) Okay. lets go and head back out to the front.  We’re getting’ close.

Hotrod and Alana then head back to the front and sit quietly for the remainder of the trip.

The scene then fades to Road America in Elkhart Lake, Wisconsin, where Molly pulls up to the registration building and stops. Hotrod, Alana, and the others get out. 

     (Hotrod):  Okay, folks, welcome to Road America.  So lets get busy.

(Marauder):  Yep.  A good week and a half before the race, too.  I bet Stroker probably won't get here until the day before the race.

(Hotrod, rolls his eyes):  Don't even talk about him right now.  That punk has pulled the last straw with me, dude.

Alana walks up and places a hand on his shoulder.

(Alana):  Now, now, Roddie, be nice.

(Hotrod):  It’s hard to be nice when you have someone like him cuttin’ ya down, especially on camera and radio.

(Marauder, sternly):  Indeed. (growls) The way he acts just makes me want to tear him apart limb to limb!

(Linda, upset):  The only thing bigger than Stroker's ego is his MOUTH!

(Molly, giggles):  That's right, sis!

(Hotrod):  Agreed, and his mouth is gonna get him hurt.

(Zima):  So THAT'S why Stroker brings so much mouthwash with him!

(Hotrod):  I'll give him mouthwash.  How bout a fist sandwich!

(Marauder):  Just make sure you get to him before me.

(Zima shocked):  Is that on white or wheat?

(Molly, rolls eyes):  Oh boy.

(Alana):  Let’s just get things rollin’ right now and worry about you know who (jabs Hotrod in the rib) later.

(Zima, confused):  Who's that?

(Linda, rolls eyes):  We'll tell you later, Zima.

(MUSIC:  Lena Horne, “The Rules of the Road”)

Fade.  Stroker is now “preparing” his car for the race, installing every cheat device he can get his hands on.

So these are the ropes,
The tricks of the trade,
The rules of the road.

You're one of the dopes
For whom they were made,
The rules of the road.

You follow that kiss and recklessly miss
A bend of the road,
Then suddenly this--
The end of the road.

So love is a hoax,
A glittering stream
Of little white lies.
But these are the jokes,
And what if they bring
The tears to your eyes?

Well, love often shows a funny return.
The brighter it glows,
The longer you burn.
And Lord only knows 
Love has little concern for the fools of the road.

But that's how it goes,
You live and you learn,
The rules of the road.

Now Stroker prepares his spy equipment.

Then suddenly this--
The end of the road.

So love is a hoax,
A glittering stream
Of little white lies.
But these are the jokes,
And what if they bring
The tears to your eyes?

Well, love often shows a funny return.
The brighter it glows,
The longer you burn.
And Lord only knows 
Love has little concern for the fools of the road.

But that's how it goes,
You live and you learn,
The rules of the road.

The rules of that road.

The long, long, lonely road.
 
Fade.  A few days before the race, Linda gets ready to make a practice run on the racetrack.  Linda is making a last minute check on her car.  Marauder sneaks up behind her and puts his hands over her eyes.

(Marauder, smiles):  Guess who?

(Linda, giggles):  Is it.... Richard Petty?

(Marauder, smiles):  Not even close!

He takes his hands off her eyes.

(Linda, acts surprised):  Marauder?  What are you doing here?  (giggles)

(Zima, looks around):  Where's Stroker at?   I hope he brought my luggage!

(Marauder):  I had a feeling about this.  Mr. Bigmouth is not going to be here until the day before the race!

(Linda, nods):  It figures!   That no good Stroker leaves Zima on the side of the road without her luggage.

(Hotrod, nods):  Yeah, and it serves the yellow bellied driver wannabe right.

(Alana):  Roddie, calm down. 

Hotrod looks at Alana.

(Hotrod):  It’s okay.  I'll be okay.  Just let me vent.

(Alana):  That’s what I’m afraid of.  You may vent on him and put him in the hospital.   Hotrod, you are strong, stronger than most humans that I know.  You'll hurt him, so behave when you see him, okay?

(Hotrod, nods):  Okay, I will. 

(Alana):  Promise?

(Hotrod):  Yeah I promise, unless he smacks me first, then I hurt him. (smiles)

Alana rolls her eyes and then grabs him by the shoulder and drags him along.

(Marauder):  Okay, I think we've vented enough.  Let's start getting ready for that race.

Fade.  Linda is now on the racetrack as the others are watching.  Molly’s boyfriend, Shankar, has now joined them.

(Zima, points):  Hey look over there!   Even the trees are big fans of racing!   See that one using the binoculars?

(Marauder, sternly):  Don't tell me.  He's here and trying to spy again.

Hotrod looks and sees what she is talking about.

(Hotrod):  Yeah, it’s ol’ big mouth.

(Zima, confused):   Trees that spy?

(Hotrod, glances over to Zima):  No, the one with the tail. 

(Zima):  What will they think of next!  A tree with a tail too!

(Hotrod, sighs):  Okay, I'll laugh about that one. 

(Shankar):  I think that tree needs a scare, shall I?

(Marauder, grins):  Go ahead!

(Hotrod, evil grin):  Yeah, do it. 

(Alana):  This ought to be good.

Shankar uses his magic to make the tree Stroker is hiding behind come to life.  The tree roars loudly and tries to grab him.  He runs so fast he leaves all of his spy gear behind, screaming at the top of his lungs.

(Zima, stunned):  That was rude of that tree!

(Marauder, laughs):  No, it was perfect!

(Hotrod):  Okay, cool.  Now I'll go and commandeer his equipment. (He gives Shankar a thumbs up sign and grins.) Excellent!!!

(Shankar, smiles):  I better change that tree back before the cops show up.

He changes it back.  Hotrod goes and grabs Stroker’s stuff and stows it. 

(Hotrod):  He can't spy on us now!  Ha ha!

(Marauder):  Got that right.

(Zima, disappointed):  And he STILL didn't bring me my luggage!

He opens the camera, rips the film out, and gently closes it up.

(Marauder):  Shankar, can you do something about that?

(Shankar, smiles):  How about I create some film that will really surprise him?

(Hotrod, nods):  Yeah, lets do that. 

(Alana, shakes her head and sighs):  Men.  What will I do with them? 

Shankar snaps his fingers and film appears in the camera.

(Shankar):  Now let's allow Zima to return Stroker's gear to him.

Hotrod nods, gives the equipment to him, and gives a crazy laugh.

(Hotrod):   Hehehhahaha!  I can't wait till he sees this! 

(Shankar, giggles):  Oh Zima!   Here, better take all this gear back to Stroker, after all, it is his!

(Zima, takes the bag):  That's a good idea!   I'll trade this for MY luggage!

(Hotrod, goes wide eyed):  WOW.  She made sense!  Yes, good idea.

(Marauder):  Very good.  Now go take this stuff to him, okay?

(Shankar, whispers):  Just wait till Stroker develops that film!

(Hotrod, chuckles):  Yeah, big surprise.

The scene shifts to Stroker's darkroom.

(Stroker, developing the film):  I had to give Zima her luggage to get my equipment back, but it'll be well worth it!

Stroker now takes out the developed pictures to look at them closely.

(Stroker, shocked):  WHAT???   Cows?   Pigs?   Chickens??   These are all barnyard scenes!  Where's my photos of Linda's racecar?   (shouts):  ZIMA!!!!   WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY FILM????

Meanwhile, back at the racetrack…

(Hotrod): I can just hear him now!!!! (looks to Shankar) What did ya put in it?  Did a big octopus come out? Hee hee.

(Shankar, smiles):  Wait till he opens his tripod bag!

Stroker opens the bag and a huge snake crawls out and wraps around him.

(Stroker, screaming louder):  HELP!!!!!

(Marauder, over radio to Linda, who is on the racetrack):  Dear, I don't think you have a thing to worry about until the race! (laughs)

(Hotrod, nods):  Yeah, you got that right. 

(Linda, on radio):  Marauder!   What did you do to Stroker?

(Marauder):  Just ask Shankar, honey.

Hotrod laughs in the background.

(Linda on radio, laughing):  I think I get it now.

Alana pings in on her radio.

(Alana):  Yeah.  Ol’ Shank fixed him up good!  Ha ha!

(Linda, giggles):  Serves him right!

(Marauder):  The only thing Stroker can hope for is that the accelerator stops working on your car.

(Hotrod, nodding):  Yeah.  His balls is gonna get busted good, man. 

The scene is at the Road America media center the night before the race.  Molly, Marauder and Linda enter dressed in their Road Rover dress uniforms.  Hotrod is sitting in the background waiting for the press conference to start.

(Marauder):  You feel okay, dear?

(Linda, looks uneasy):  I'm a bit nervous about facing the press.

(Marauder):  I know, dear.  Just handle the pressure as you would in the courtroom.

(Molly, looks all around):  Stroker isn't here yet.

(Marauder, sighs):  I can only imagine what he's going to say.

Just then, they hear a scream down the hall.

(Marauder):  Speaking of the devil, that must be him now.

Hotrod turns his head.

(Hotrod):  And speaking of the devil, there is the loud mouth now.

Suddenly, sirens blare, fireworks explode in the pressroom, and Stroker walks out, dressed in an Elvis-like outfit with Zima following behind him, dressed like a chorus girl.

(Stroker, shouts):  LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE STAR IS HERE!!

(Marauder, sternly):  Star?  More like a guy in a cheap Elvis costume.

(Zima, looks around):  Where?  Where's the star at?

Hotrod gives Stroker a nasty look but remains standing there.

(Al):  Well, that's quite an entrance, Stroker!   Al Sparks here, reporter at large, tell me Mr. Stroker Ace Hounddog, what are your thoughts on this race?

(Stroker, smirks):  I guarantee I'll blow the doors off of my opponent, I'll drive SO fast that she'll wonder what world she's on!

(Marauder, waves his finger):  Be careful, Stroker.  She is an attorney and can beat you over the head with the law.

(Hotrod, with his arms crossed):  And you can bet on that, man.

(Stroker):  An attorney?   So that's how she practices, by chasing all those ambulances!

(Zima, smiles):  I like chasing cars once in a while!

(Stroker, whispers):  Pipe down, Zima, you're here to make me look good, so don't talk.

(Hotrod, growls under his breath to himself):  I think it’s time I taught him a lesson. 

(Marauder):  Go ahead and say something, Zima.

(Zima, confused):  Something?

(Linda, upset):  HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A....

(Stroker, interrupts):  Now, settle down, dearie....  I'm here to prove once and for all that all women belong in the kitchen!   Cooking me dinner!

Marauder fumes.

(Molly, upset):  Linda's going to beat you!   She'll make you eat those words!

(Stroker):  Wanna make a side bet on that, gorgeous?

Hotrod fades in to the back.  Alana sees him and approaches him.

(Alana):  Roddie, whatcha up to? 

(Hotrod):  Ahh, nothing.  Just going to teach that punk a lesson.

(Alana):  You’re not going to hurt him are ya?

    (Hotrod):  Nah, but I’m gonna put the fear of God in him, though.

(Alana):  Okay.  But please don't tear him up, okay? 

(Hotrod, nods):  Okay. 

He reappears in the room.

(Marauder):  And if you cause any injury to my wife, she can sue you for a lot of money!

(Hotrod, thinks to himself):  If he hurt my wife, I’d tear him to pieces.

(Stroker):  Now, now, good doctor.  Are you going to run this race for Linda?   Maybe she doesn't want to get beat ...

(Linda, angry):  SHUT UP!!

(Al):  Well!   This certainly has been an interesting interview

Fade.  Stroker is walking down the hall patting himself on the back when suddenly, someone grabs him and throws him against the wall.  Marauder gets in his face.

(Marauder, angry):  You messed with the wrong person, punk!

(Stroker, a little scared):  Hey doc, don't get all mad.  I was only trash talking for the press.   It builds hype for the race!   Puts people in the stands, ok?

(Marauder, angry):  Oh sure, like your insults tonight weren't anything serious?!

(Stroker):  Exactly!  It's like when wrestlers or pro football players trash talk, don't take it so personally, ok pal?

(Marauder, sternly):  Sorry, punk, but when people mess with my wife, they're looking for trouble!

(Stroker, shouts);  Security!  

Two big guys rush over.

(Stroker, smiles):  Now, if you'll excuse me, doc, I gotta go back to the garage.

Fade.  Stroker arrives at his garage and is taken by surprise once again.  An iron-like hand shoots out from a dark area, grabs him by his shirt, and yanks him into the shadow.  Stroker struggles and screams.

(Hotrod, in Stroker’s face, low menacing voice):  You listen here, you good for nothin’ yellowbellied excuse for a hound!  I’m sick and tired of you sayin’ bad stuff about me and my friends.  You mess with them, you mess with ME.  And I don't believe in the system.  So if I ever hear you talkin’ bad about Linda, Marauder, ZIMA, or me, I’m gonna string you upside down in a tree by your little bitty toes and leave ya for the vultures!  GOT IT!?!?!?!

Stroker nods nervously.

Hotrod lets him go and shoves him against the wall.

(Hotrod):  REMEMBER THIS, BOY!

     Hotrod is gone.

The scene is in a suite at a nearby hotel, the next morning.  Linda is up getting ready for the big race that day.  Marauder walks in, carrying a garment bag.

(Linda, nervous):  Well, this is it.  The big day is here.  I've just gotta beat that southern fried Romeo on the track!

(Marauder):  Yep.  You're going to do great today, dear.  And I've got a few surprises for you before we head to the track.

(Linda, points):  Darling?   Why are you carrying that bag?

(Marauder):  Well, last night, I decided to have your racing suit professionally cleaned.

(Linda):  You did?

(Marauder):  Yep.

He opens the garment bag and shows her the racing suit.  It is a gleaming white all over.

(Linda):  I heard you had some words with Stroker yesterday.

(Marauder, lowers head):  I did.  If it hadn't been for the security guards, I might have broke his nose.  It burns me up when I hear that butthead insult you.

Meanwhile, while Marauder and Linda are getting ready, Alana and Hotrod are also preparing. 

(Hotrod, rubbing a white object with some art on it):  Alana?  Why are you sprucing yourself up like that?  You know you’re goin’ to get tire rubber race gas fumes and such in your fur.  And  that dress is going to get dirty.

(Alana):  Ahhh, you know me.  I like to make an impression in public. (She then shows off her red dress to Hotrod.) You like? 

(Hotrod):  Oh yes, you’re beautiful.  But your still goin’ to get it dirty.  You want to spend time in the pit, and that’s hardly a place for that dress, hon. 

(Alana):  Well, yeah.  I know, but I just wanna look good...you know.

(Hotrod, nods):  Yeah, I know...Okay, you look great.  Just be careful. (He then gives her a hug.) Okay?

(Alana):  You bet I will.  And I can't wait till Linda beats the livin’ tar out of him on the track.

(Hotrod):  Yeah. (smiles) I can't wait.

Alana then points to the object.

(Alana):  Is her surprise ready?

(Hotrod):  Yep, ready to go.

He then puts it in his carry bag, and both Alana and Hotrod head out downstairs.

Meanwhile, back at Marauder and Linda’s room, Molly knocks on their door.  Linda opens it.

(Linda, surprised):  Molly?

(Molly, upset):  That sneaky twerp!   Stroker just did a radio interview this morning, and did some more trash talking about you!

(Marauder, upset):  Ooh, I'd like to kill that butthead!

(Molly, growls):  I wish I knew where he was right now!  I'd pants him in front of the TV camera just to embarrass him!

(Linda, determined): He's only trying to rattle me!   I'll do my TALKING on the track, with my racecar!

(Marauder, calm):  Right.  Besides, that brings me to another surprise.

He takes out a DVD and puts it in Linda's laptop computer.  Then, a marching band performing a football halftime show appears.

(Linda, confused):  What's this all about, dear?

(Announcer, on DVD):  Ladies and gentlemen, as you know, Linda Maddog Marauder is the wife of one of OSU's distinguished alumni, Dr. James Marauder, the chief medical officer of the Road Rovers.  All of us here at OSU would like to wish her good luck in her race against Stroker Ace Hounddog.

The crowds are heard cheering as the band starts playing "Brown Eyed Girl."

(Linda, crying tears of joy):  I don't know what to say.....  YOU did this for me, didn't you, honey?

(Marauder, smiles):  Actually, it was all the university's idea.  They wanted to do something special since you're an honorary war dog.

(Linda, hugs him):  Thank you!

(Molly, looks at watch):  We better get moving now.

(Marauder):  Exactly.  Let's kick some butt!

A moment later, they leave their suite.  Linda is now wearing her racing suit, which is all white from her neck down to her boots.  Marauder is dressed in his Road Rover dress uniform.  Both Hotrod carrying his carry bag and Alana who is in her slim red dress see both Marauder and Linda coming toward them and they greet them.

(Hotrod):  Well, Linda aren’t you lookin’ good.  How you feelin’?

(Linda, smiles):  Like a winner!

(Hotrod, nods):  Good, good. (He then looks over to Marauder who is standing next to her.) You’re one lucky guy to have someone like her. 

Alana, in her red dress, moves to stand besides Hotrod, then leans against him.

(Alana):  Yeah, you two work like clockwork together. 

Linda blushes.

(Marauder, smiles):  Well, I try.

(Alana, laughs):  That’s what Roddie says when I complement him! (laughs more) 

(Hotrod):  Anyway, Linda, I have a couple of surprises for you.  And I think you’re goin’ to like them.

(Linda, stunned):  Surprises?

Hotrod then picks up the carry bag, sits it on the table, opens it up, and pulls out a professional Simpson SFI spec 2.4 road race helmet specially modified for her.  On the carbon fiber neck support pad is painted “Team GTX” on the bottom.  Hotrod then gives it to her.

(Linda, picks it up):  Hotrod, this is absolutely beautiful!   Thank you!

(Hotrod, smiles):  And note the bottom. 

Hotrod points to the Team GTX logo on it.

(Linda, reads it):  What does it mean, Hotrod?

(Hotrod):  Well, this brings me to the next surprise.  Follow me.

He smiles as he leads them.

(Alana, to Marauder):  She is going to be stunned big time! (giggles)

(Marauder):  I hope it's good.

(Alana):  Yes, it is.  And Stroker is going to be sweating his fur off when he sees it!

(Linda):   He is?

(Alana): OHHHHH YESSSSS!!!

Hotrod leads them to a garage and tells them to wait there.  He then goes into the garage.   A moment later the garage door opens and a covered vehicle rolls out.  Hotrod then comes out and motions Linda to approach.  Linda walks over.

(Hotrod):  Linda, what’s under this cover is something not everyone gets.  In fact, ONLY the privileged get. 

Hotrod then hands her a strange key with the word “Engalli” on it.  

(Linda, reads it):  Engalli?

(Hotrod):  Wait.

Hotrod steps aside and motions for 2 guys to remove the cover.  When the cover is removed, what is revealed is a BRAND new Engalli chassis equipped Ferrari 645 PRO BBM Le Mans racecar with the characteristic white and green slash paint job fading to Ferrari red with the Castrol GTX sponsor logo on both sides and the hood.  Linda is totally stunned.

(Hotrod):  Castrol found out about you and your skills, and secretly BUILT this car for you.  It fits ONLY you.  We were going to run your car, BUT they insisted that you run it in this race.  This car is a PROTOTYPE and is equipped with an Engalli modified H/R Motorsports stage5 spike turbo and is running a not 8, not 12, but 16 cylinders.  Castrol don't choose lightly on who they sponsor, I tell ya.  You have.  I didn't know about this car until 2 days ago.

(Linda, eyes wide open):  I...I.... don't know what ... to say....

(Hotrod):  You have a 5-year sponsorship with them, and you don't have to hit all the races either.  STROKER is going to freak when he sees this. (grins)

(Molly, excited):  WOW!!  WHAT A CAR!!!   

(Hotrod):  And 0-60 in 1.2 sec.

(Linda, big grin):  I do want to see Stroker go nuts!

(Hotrod):  Keep in mind that this is a racecar only now, okay?  Heh.

(Marauder):  Well, let's get to the track!

(Hotrod, smiles at Linda):  Go climb in and get ready.  You'll have 10 laps to warm up, then bring it in.  The Castrol team over there is your team, and I’m crew chief. 

(Linda):  Okay.

Fade.  They are now at the racetrack.  The stands are still empty, but fans are lining up outside.  Meanwhile, Linda is now driving the new racecar around on her warm up laps.

(Marauder, over radio):  How's it handling, honey?

(Linda, happy):  Whoa ho ho!  I love this!

The unmistakable high-pitched scream of the 16-cylinder engine is heard as she goes around the track.

(Marauder, laughing):  That's going to give Stroker a run for his money, I guarantee!

(Hotrod, nods):  Yes, it will.  It’s capable of 270 plus but don't tell her that yet, okay?

(Marauder):  Okay.

10 laps later, she is called to pull into the pit to top off and prepare.  Linda climbs out of the car looking happy.

(Hotrod):  You look like a kid with a new toy with the way that grin looks on your muzzle.

(Linda, smiles):  Well, when I got my road car, Marauder told me that when you have a new toy, you want to play with it.

(Hotrod, nods):  Yeah.  Alana keeps saying that to me.  Hee hee.

Just then, Alana comes up from behind and lays both her arms on Hotrod’s shoulder causing him to slightly jump.

(Hotrod):  Iee!  Don't do that, hon.

(Alana):  Ahh.  You'll get used to it some day. (She then looks at Linda.) How did it run?

(Linda, smiles):  Like a dream!

(Alana, smiles):  I’m glad and I’m also glad to see that glory hound Stroker eat it!  Ha ha!

(Intercom in the shop):  Linda Maddog, in your car and prepare.  You got 5.

(Hotrod, turns and looks back at Linda):  Well, here’s the big one.  Best get in the car and get ready.

Linda gets back in the car and straps up.  Hotrod leans into the window before the window strap goes up.

(Hotrod):  Linda, run 3 hard warm up laps, and come back in to take fuel and new tires, okay?

(Linda, putting her helmet and goggles on):  Okay.

(Intercom):  Linda Maddog, warm up due now.

Linda starts up the racecar and begins her warm up laps.

Three laps later, she returns to the pit.  Once Linda’s car stops, the Castrol crew goes to work blinding fast.  The car is suddenly jacked up with a jolt.  Fuel cans are crammed into the fuel ports, 2 other guys are cleaning her windshield, and another is filling her water bottle.  Then, 4 sets of 2 change her tires in a matter of seconds.

(Hotrod, leans in):  Linda, now remember, stay calm.  If Stroker starts talkin’ smack about you on the radio, just ignore him, relax, and concentrate on the race.  DON'T let him get under your skin.  Doing so will make you mess up, okay?  Remember, concentrate and go easy until the last few laps.  It’s going to be a long one, okay?  The tires you have are #5 compound.  In other words, soft.  They wear quickly, so save them as much as you can, okay?

(Linda):  Got it.

(Hotrod):  Okay, now go get ‘em! (Hotrod gives the jack man the drop jack signal.  The car drops with a thud, and Hotrod pats the roof.) Go! Go! Go!

Linda floors the gas pedal and speeds back out onto the track.

(Hotrod):  Okay, now here comes the excitement. 

(Alana):  Yeah.  That’s what I’m afraid of.  That’s another reason I’m here is to keep you from getting’ too excited.  Ha ha. 

(Hotrod, gives her a puzzled look and shrugs):  O...kay.

     He then sits back with the radio.

Fade.  It is about 30 minutes before the start of the race.  Fans are now packed into the stands and a wave of activity is going around the racetrack.  Linda is putting on her new Castrol GTX race jacket and getting ready to make her official entrance into the racetrack.  Along with the jacket, she is still wearing the white gloves, white pants, and white boots.  Marauder walks up and puts his hand on her shoulder.

(Marauder):  How you feeling, honey?

(Linda):  A bit nervous, but I'm ready to roll!

(Hotrod, standing next to her):  Linda, just remember to concentrate.  Think of this as the test track with no one here.  If you see all the race fans, it can, you might say, over boost your ego, which happens to all good drivers, which can lead to you trying too hard, which is just as bad as not trying hard enough.  Just concentrate and your nerves will calm down.

(Linda, nods):  Right.  It's almost race time, time to focus on the race.

Suddenly, loud theme music begins to blare out on the PA system of the track.  On the far side of the track, fireworks burst all around as Stroker rides into the field area in a convertible driven by Zima, who is dressed in a yellow bikini.  Stroker waves to the crowd as he passes by.

(Marauder, smirks):  That guy thinks he's hot stuff.  Well, we can top that!

(Hotrod, rubs his chin):  Hmmmmm..... Yeah.  I think we can got an idea.  Come over guys and listen up.

(Stroker, waving):  Okay, Zima, remember, drive slow and easy.

(Zima, saluting):  Yes sir!

(Stroker, shouts):  ZIMA!!  Get both hands on the wheel!

Zima steers into a rough section of the infield, Stroker is tossed in the air by a bump and lands headfirst into a mud pile.

(Zima, embarrassed):  Oops....

The crowd erupts in laughter.

(Stroker, screams):  ZIMA!  YOU KLUTZ!!  LOOK AT ME!!

(Zima, giggles):  I am, that's why I'm laughing so hard!

(Stroker, points):  YOU did that on purpose, you air headed bimbo!

(Zima, upset):  HEY!  If you don't like my driving, next time, drive it yourself!

Zima gets out and walks away.

(Stroker, upset):  That does it!   Just wait till the race!   NO MERCY for little miss Lassie dog!

Hotrod looks over his shoulder and sees Stroker getting tossed around in the infield.

(Hotrod):  HA HA!  Serves him right!  Good goin', Zima!

(Alana, giggles):  Who's laughin' now?  Looks like ol' Stroker there has been destroked! (laughs)

(Marauder, to Linda):  Well, why don't we let you make your entrance now, dear?

(Hotrod, nods):  Yeah.  Get in your NEW racecar now and light ‘em up to show him you mean business!

(Linda, nods):  Right!

Linda climbs in her car and slowly drives out towards the infield as the fans cheer loudly.  She then speeds the car up, doing a few doughnut turns in the infield.

(Stroker, growls):  How DARE she show me up!   I'll show her!

Meanwhile, Marauder walks to the family view area.  A reporter gets a few questions with him along the way.

(Reporter):  Dr. Marauder, how do you think your wife will do today?

(Marauder):  Well, she is an excellent driver, much better than Stroker Ace, I can tell you that.  I think she'll do very well today.

(Reporter):  How does it make you feel about the trash talking that she has been taking?

(Marauder):  It's very unsportsmanlike.  I think Stroker is nothing but arrogance on wheels.  There are a ton of drivers out there that are way better than he is, and we're going to see one of them today in my wife.

(Reporter):  Dr. Marauder, thank you very much.

(Marauder):  Thank you.

When he reaches the view area, the entire Maddog family is there.

(Samantha):  Good luck, Dr. Marauder, sir.

(Otto):  May Linda be victorious.

(Abby, shouts):  Go get'm sis!

(Vicki, shouts):  Make'm eat dirt!

(Molly, shouts):  YOU CAN DO IT, LINDA!!

Zima now walks over.

(Ben):  Zima?  What are you doing here?  I thought you were on Stroker's team?

(Zima, crying):  He yelled at me!  After all I did for him, even putting on this bikini he picked out for me and....

(Reporter):  YOU know Stroker Ace Hounddog?

(Zima, nods):  Yeah!  And he's a big grump!   So he got thrown out of the car and got splattered with mud!  Is that MY fault?

Everyone nods.

(Zima, sadly):  Oh yeah.... guess that was my fault....

Meanwhile, back in the pit, Hotrod and Alana are in the pit lane.  Linda climbs out of her car.  Alana walks up to her and hands her a couple of water bottles.

(Alana):  Okay, Linda, this is your big day.  It’s time to show him a bit of girl power!

Hotrod walks up to Alana.

(Hotrod):  Hon, I’m going to head up to the family seatin' area and see the Maddogs, okay?  I'll be right back. 

(Alana):  Okay, don't be long.

Later, during the prerace ceremony, the two drivers present each other with "gifts."  Linda presents Stroker with a pig.  Stroker presents Linda with a broom.

(Stroker):  Now y'all can go back to the house and do chores like all WOMEN oughta do!

(Reporter):  Okay, fans, you can tell that these two racers have issues with each other.  

(Stroker, shouts):  ZIMA!  I have an important job for you!

(Zima, runs over):  You do?

(Stroker, hands her the leash):  Yeah!  Take care of this pig while I race!  When I win, we'll have a big ol' bar-b-q!

(Zima, looks at the pig):  But that might hurt him!   Cute little guy!

(Stroker, shouts):  Just do what I say, you hollow headed blonde!

Zima leaves with the pig.

Meanwhile, Hotrod enters the family box and walks up to Ben and the others.

(Hotrod):  Hello, Ben.  Nice to see ya here.  How ya doin’?

(Ben):  Join us, Hotrod!

(Molly):  Get a ringside seat for Stroker's defeat!

(Hotrod, smiling to Ben):  Thanks, Ben, but I got to be down in the pits.  This is a 72 lap race totaling 312 miles and I’m the crew chief.  Heh, I got to make sure Linda’s car is in tip top shape.   I just wanted to welcome ya here and give ya this. (He hands him a Castrol GTX team hat.)  Your daughter has a major sponsor now. 

(Announcer):  Ladies and gentlemen, would you please direct your attention to the winner's circle for the ceremonial coin toss to determine pole position in today's race.  To toss the coin, please welcome racing legend Mario Andretti!

The two racers meet in the winner's circle with Mr. Andretti and an official.

(Official):  Now, as you know, this will determine which of you will receive pole position in today's race.  Mr. Andretti here will toss the coin. (to Stroker) Mr. Hounddog, you may call the toss.

(Stroker):  I calls heads!

(Official):  Heads.  Mr. Andretti, whenever you're ready. (Mr. Andretti tosses the coin.)  It is heads.  You have won the toss and will receive pole position.  Good luck to both of you.

Hotrod is still in the family box watching the coin toss with the Maddogs. 

(Hotrod, nods and smiles):  Good.  Stroker has no idea he has now jumped into the snake pit!  Ha ha!

Hotrod again smiles, looks at Ben, and gives him a thumbs up.

(Hotrod):  She has this race in the bag already, Ben. 

(Stroker happy):  YES!!  I got the pole and in a few minutes, I'll have the victory too!   (smirks):  Care to make a little wager on this race, Linda?

(Linda, ears perk up):  Like what?

(Stroker, smiles):  The loser will become the winner's maid for a whole month!   

(Linda, upset):  Maid?

(Stroker, nods):  That's right!   And I got the prettiest little French maid's outfit!

(Linda, evil grin):  And when I win, YOU'RE going to wear it when you are waiting hand and foot on ME!

Stroker and Linda shake hands.

(Stroker):   You're on!

(Linda, under her breath):  Now I READY want to beat the pants off that arrogant mutt!

(Stroker, under his breath):  I'm gonna love havin' a gorgeous babe being my maid for a month!

Fade.  The two racers get in their racecars and strap up.  Linda's car has the Castrol GTX logo on it, while Stroker's car has a mess of sponsors all over it.

(Announcer):  Ladies and gentlemen, here now to give the order to start engines, please welcome the supreme commander of the Road Rovers, General Hunter Retriever!

Cheers.

(Hunter, into a microphone):  Start your engines!

As Stroker starts his engine, he smiles as he revs it up.  He looks over at Linda, who is putting her helmet and goggles on, and gives her a wink.  Linda gives him the look.

Hotrod is in the pits watching the startup procedure with Alana at his side while the crew is scurrying all over collecting the first set of tires and filling the fuel cans preparing for the first pit stop.

(Hotrod):  Okay, Linda.  Just relax.

(Alana):  Roddie, you know she can't hear ya.  You don't have your radio on.

(Hotrod):  I know.  I’m just talkin’ to myself. 

(Shankar, smiles):  Who needs a radio when you have magic? (waves his arm) There, now all of you can communicate with Linda, and she with you!

(Misty, excited):  WOW!!  That's great!

Meanwhile, the pace car, a black and white Camaro, drives out and lines up in front of Linda and Stroker at about 100 feet.

(Marauder):  Lassie, can you hear me?

(Linda, confused):  Marauder?   Is that you or am I hearing things?

(Marauder, smiles):  It's really me, honey.  I love you.

(Linda, smiles):  Thank you, darling.  The race is about to start!   Wish me luck!

(Hotrod, talking to Linda with his new magical link):  Yes, it’s all of us.  Ol' Shank here gave us a magical link so I won't have to burn up batteries all day.   Anyway, just relax and concentrate.  And don't let that pea brained punk get to you.  Hang back for most of the time.  I'll let ya know when to make a dart for the lead.  I want ya to save your tires ok?

(Linda, shouts):  Okay!   I'll make'm sorry he ever met me!

The pace car starts moving leading the cars around the track for the warm up.  Stroker smiles as he puts his hand on a secret control panel in his racecar.  After about 2 laps, the pace car pulls off the track onto the main stretch and the green flag falls.

(Hotrod, to Linda):  You've got green.  GO!!! GO!!! GO!!!

    Linda puts her foot down, but Stroker zooms out into the lead.

(Hotrod, to Linda):  Let him go.  Remain about 4 car links behind him and draft him to save fuel.  Let him burn his fuel up first. 

Stroker pushes one of the secret buttons and an oil slick appears behind his car.  Linda swerves carefully to avoid it.

Hotrod then sees Stroker do his little stunt.

(Hotrod, growling):  That good fa nuthin’ yellowbelly!  I knew it! 

However, an official also saw the cheat and immediately raises a red flag.

(Official):  Illegal move by Stroker Ace Hounddog!  That's a one-lap penalty!

(Stroker, upset):  I thought no one would catch on!   Now I'll have to really fly to make it up!

(Hotrod, to Marauder):  Now Linda is in the lead.  Stroker is going to have to make that lap back.

(Marauder, shouting):  CHEATERS NEVER PROSPER, STROKER!

The race is slowed to allow a cleanup crew to clean the oil slick off the track.  As soon as their work is finished, the race is restarted.

(Stroker, out loud in his car):  I can't believe they caught me!   (growls):  I'm gonna put the pedal to the metal NOW!

Suddenly, Stroker's car passes Linda in a blaze.

Hotrod looks into the monitors and growls.  Then he looks at Alana who is sitting next to him.

(Hotrod):  What do you think?  Looks like nitrous to me. (He then gets on the radio.) Linda, when Stroker passed you, did you notice any type of flame emitting out of the exhaust?

(Linda, shouts):  YES!  I saw it!  Could be a backfire or a leak in his gas line or...

(Zima):  Or it could be the nitro.

(Shankar):  Nitro?

(Zima):  Yeah, he kept saying that his nitro tanks were late.  Then when he got mad and shouted "Tanks, Tanks" I said you're welcome, and he got MAD at me!

Hotrod hears this and about goes ballistic.

(Hotrod, angry):  Nitrous oxide?!  I knew it!  Report this to the officials and have him black flagged for inspection now!!!

(Zima, confused):  I thought nitro was a fruity soda brand!

Suddenly, an official on the track notices the unusual sight of a flame coming from Stroker’s exhaust and pulls out another red flag.

(Hotrod, patches into Linda):  Linda, red flag!  Race is being stopped for a rule infraction.  Return to the pits for new rubber and fuel. 

(Alana):  Hotrod, calm down, hon.  It’s not the end of the world, you know.  It’s okay.  Relax. 

She puts her hand on the upset human’s shoulder. 

(Official, over PA):  Stroker Ace Hounddog, return to the pit for inspection immediately.

(Stroker, shouts on radio):  What are y'all talkin' about?   There ain't no need to stop this here race!

(Official, to Stroker):  Return to the pit now or you will be disqualified.

(Stroker, angry):  Oh alright....

Stroker rolls into the pit.  Linda takes this opportunity to pit also.

Linda rolls into the pits and the Castrol crew goes to work raising the car and whipping off the tires and replacing them with new ones.  Others clean her windshield and the fuel man begins fueling her car.

Everyone goes to the pit area to see what's going on.

(Molly, points):  Mr. Official, check for nitro!

(Vicki, growls):  Yeah!   That canine Casanova is cheating!

(Stroker, mock anger, points):  ZIMA!  Why didn't you take those tanks off like I told you to last night?

(Zima, shocked): WHAT???  You never told me...

(Stroker, big grin):  Mr. Race Official, I do apologize for the incompetence of my pit crew...

(Zima, shouts):  OH NO!!   I DIDN'T KNOW YOU TOLD ME TO...  

Zima bursts into tears.

(Molly, hugs Zima):  Stroker!  You should be ashamed of yourself!  

(Vicki, upset):  Trying to blame your teammate for your own dirty tricks!

(Official):  Remove the device NOW and you are penalized five laps!

(Stroker, rushes):  I gotta hurry!

(Marauder, laughs):  Like I said, cheaters never prosper!

Stroker mumbles and grumbles as he quickly removes the nitro canisters and rushes back into the race.

(Hotrod, approaches Linda in the car):  Linda, looks like this dude is going to play dirty.  No matter how this goes, I want you to stay on him but watch for any tricks, okay?  Since he is playin’ dirty, I’m goin’ to play dirty also.  On the rear is medium compound rubber along with the fronts.  Plus the engine man is adding 6 more pounds of boost.  It’s time to kick this hound’s butt.

(Linda, nods):  Gotcha, Hotrod!

Hotrod nods, pats the top of the car, and then leans back in.

(Hotrod):  Oh, also, keep the RPM up in the corners.  You are loosin’ ground coming out of the turns.  Don't be afraid to nail it comin’ out of the corners.  The car can take it.

Linda gives him a thumbs up.

Alana walks up to Hotrod with a soda and hands it to him, which he gratefully excepts.

(Hotrod):  Thanks, hon.  I needed that.

(Alana, nods):  I figured you'll need it. 

(Hotrod):  Also, I want you to keep an eye on Stroker’s figures.  I have a full uplink to not only Linda’s car, but that no good hound, Stroker.  If you see anything else come up above the feasible norm, let me know.  Okay, hon?

(Alana, nods):  Okay, hon, I'll do that.

She walks to the telemetry station and starts monitoring.

Fade.  Over an hour into the race, Linda now has a big lead over Stroker.

(Stroker, to himself):  My only hope now is if Linda wrecks.... (evil grin):  Maybe I can help her do that....

Stroker is now driving side by side with Linda.

(Stroker, growls):  Now for some fancy swerving.....

Stroker begins to swerve back and forth moving closer and closer to Linda.

(Linda, shouts):  EAT MY DUST, DOGGIE!!

Linda's car zips in front of Stroker.  This takes him by surprise and he loses control of his car.  His car soon spins and turns into the infield.

(Molly, laughs):  Look at that!   Stroker's off the track!

(Vicki):  Serves him right!

(Zima, sad):  He'll probably blame that on me too...

Hotrod sees this and jumps up.

(Hotrod):  Eat that, you no good yellowbellied canine! 

(Shankar, points):  See that?    Stroker's race car is stalled, he can't restart his engine.

(Hotrod, to Linda):  Linda, you all right?

(Linda, happy):  I'm fine, I'm loving every minute of this!

Stroker gets out of his car, throws his helmet at it and then kicks it.  Then he grabs his foot and screams in pain.

(Ben, shakes head):  Stroker is not a good sport.

(Vicki, nods):  That's an understatement!

(Hotrod, chuckles):  That dude has no idea that he is ruining the aerodynamics of his car!  Hee hee!

(Alana, nods and giggles):  Yeah.  He’s not very bright, is he? 

(Hotrod):  Nope.  He’s not.  Looks like Linda has this in the bag!  Ha ha!

(Marauder, excited):  She's gonna win!

(Announcer):  Looks like Stroker is out of the race.  The winner is Linda Maddog Marauder!

Hotrod then notices Stroker’s car produce a puff of smoke, the tell tale sign that he got it refired.  Stroker hits the gas, swerving out of the sand trap and on the track. 

(Announcer):  Ladies and gentlemen, I spoke too soon!   Stroker's back in the race!

(Hotrod):  Uh oh, he’s back in it.  Okay, Linda, it’s time to pull ahead of him and stay there.  Go! Go! Go!  You have 1 lap left.  The main stretch is comin’ up.  Keep him off of ya, Linda.

(Marauder, nervously):  Come on, Lassie!  You can do it!

(Hotrod):  Okay, Linda, there is the hairpin.  Enter that and come out perfectly and you have it!  Go! Go!

Linda nods and starts to pull away from Stroker who is right behind her.  She then cuts to the outside of the hairpin and then whips the wheel to the left, entering the corner from the inside and then up shifts to 3rd to control speed.  She then carefully and expertly maintains the corner felling the car drifts all the while Stroker is on the outside in a steep drift struggling for control allowing her to pull away from him.  Once around the corner, she goes to the exit line, nails the gas pedal, and starts to madly accelerate feathering the shifter paddles on her steering wheel and comes out perfectly with Stroker on the outside straightening out behind her, but she is now a safe distance in front of him and pulls away.

(Linda, grins and thinks to herself):  This is for you, my beloved Marauder, and all my friends.

She then hits the gas pedal powering to the finish line crossing it at 230 MPH.

Hotrod jumps up and down and contacts Linda. 

(Hotrod):  Linda!  You did it!  You did it!  Congratulations for a victory well done! 

Marauder looks up, holds up his fists, and shouts in jubilation.  Molly and Vicki jump and cheer.  Zima sees them doing it and joins them, screaming louder than they are.  The Castrol team is wildly celebrating the victory along with Alana, who is having just as much fun.  She runs up to Hotrod, flings her arms around him, and kisses him drawing woos and such from the crew as she does.

Stroker pulls into his pit area.  He's so angry that he rushes by the waiting reports and over towards the grandstand.

(Stroker, points):  HEY RACE OFFICIALS!   LINDA CHEATED!!  CHECK HER CAR LIKE YOU DID MINE!!

Hotrod, who is now on the track, gets in Stroker’s face.

(Hotrod):  STROKER!  You’d best behave yourself or I’m goin’ to make good of my threat I gave ya.  You know good and well she didn't cheat and you know it, Buster!  So chill or I’m gonna chill it for ya! 

(Stroker, scared):  Me?  Misbehave?  

Zima walks over to Stroker.

(Stroker):  It's all YOUR fault, Zima!

(Zima, points):  See Goldfire?  I told you he was blaming me for everything!  He even made me dress up in a bikini!

Stroker turns around and sees a very angry Goldfire Wolf.

(Stroker, nervous):  Er... hi there...

(Goldfire, motions with finger):  Come here.....

Stroker begins to run away, but Goldfire chases him all around the infield.

(Zima, shocked):  WOW!  I didn’t know Stroker could run that fast!

The group comes down to congratulate Linda.  Marauder runs up, picks up Linda, and gives her a big hug.

(Linda, happy):  We did it!

(Marauder, teary eyed, happy):  I'm so proud of you, my dear.

(Hotrod):  And I am, too, Linda.

(Molly):  Me too!

(Vicki):  You sure showed him!

Hotrod turns to Linda, Marauder, Molly, Abby, and now Alana, who walked up behind him and put her arms around his neck and laughs.

(Hotrod, laughing):  Serves him right.  And watch him run.  He can about run faster than he races!  Ha ha!

(Ben, smiles):  I'm so proud of you, my daughter!

Suddenly, everyone's ears perk up as they hear Stroker screaming.

(Zima, nods):  Yep!  My boyfriend caught him!

Just then, the whole Castrol GTX team comes running out, raises up Linda, and parades her around.  Hotrod then nods and laughs. 

(Hotrod):  And I’m gonna do my own celebration.

Alana looks at him in puzzlement

(Alana):  What, hon?

(Hotrod):  Watch.

He then leaves, and about 10 minutes later, the unmistakable sound of a screaming V12 is heard, and out comes a beautiful Castrol Vertigo Le Mans racer.  It stops beside Ben and the door opens.

(Hotrod):  Ben, get in.  I think you need some fun, man, in honor of your daughters win.

(Ben, nods):  Thank you.

Ben gets in.  Hotrod helps him strap up, the door closes, and Hotrod screams off with Ben.

Alana watches him race off.

(Alana, to Linda):  Ha ha!  Your dad is in for a ride!  Hee hee.

(Linda, smiles):  Thanks, Alana!  

As the crowd cheers loudly, an ambulance stops in the infield and carries a badly beaten Stroker into it.

(Marauder):  Looks like Stroker boy met his match!

(Zima):  That HAD to hurt!

(Goldfire, walks up to her):  It hurt him more than it did me.  

As Stroker is put into the ambulance, Hotrod drives up on the grass and pokes his head out. 

(Hotrod, in a crazy sounding voice):  CHEATS never WIN, dude!  Enjoy your stay!

With that, he takes back off. 

He then drives up and stops beside Linda’s car.  And after helping Ben out, he gets out and sits on the front end and holds his thumbs up signal for good job and smiles to everyone.

Fade.  The team is now gathered in the winner's circle.  Also there are Hunter, Mario Andretti, and the track president.

(Announcer):  Ladies and gentlemen, please direct your attention to the winner's circle for the trophy presentation.

(Hunter):  Linda Maddog Marauder, in your race today, you've displayed the pride and sportsmanship it takes to be a great Road Rover.  And all of us are proud to present you with this trophy for your victory here today.

He hands Linda the trophy.  The crowd cheers as Linda holds up the trophy.

Hotrod, who is in a seat, looks on.  He then starts to clap as the crowd cheers.  And suddenly, without warning, Alana comes up, climbs in his lap, and gives him a hug again drawing woos from the crew and others.  With that he smiles and laughs.  And then, with Alana in his lap, they await the speech. 

(Reporter, to Linda):  Linda, congratulations on your victory.  I know many people all across the country were pulling for you.  Can you give us an idea of what it must have been like to prepare for the race?

(Linda):  It was unbelievable.  All the trash talking we had been taking for the last two months was enough to wear us down.  But I had a great crew to work with, and a great chief (motions to Hotrod) who kept our spirits up all the way.  I certainly couldn't have won this race without his help, and I couldn't have won it without my loving husband here! (hugs Marauder)

Hotrod smiles. 

(Reporter, to Marauder):  Dr. Marauder, just out of curiosity, what do you think about women in racing?

(Marauder):  I say, if they want to race, let them!

The crowd cheers.

(Reporter, to Hotrod):  Hotrod McKenzie, you've made quite a reputation on the racetrack, as a driver, a teacher, and a crew chief.  Up to now, what do you think is your proudest accomplishment?

(Hotrod):  What is my proudest accomplishment, you say?  It is bein’ able to help this young lady, her husband, her family, and all of our friends here accomplish one goal and that is to work as a team.  And I’m especially proud to be a good friend of them and Linda’s family here.  That there is my proudest accomplishment. (With that, he puts his big arm around Marauder’s and Linda’s shoulders, including Alana’s and smiles.) This is what friends are for.

The crowd cheers.  Marauder picks up Linda.  He holds her in his arms and they share a kiss.

(Reporter):  Well, there you have it.  Sportsmanship prevails against the ridiculous.

Hotrod then grabs the cameraman by the shoulder.

(Hotrod):  And one more thing, STROKER, if you are watchin’, this looks like Linda won the bet!  So best prepare!  Ha ha! 

Stroker is watching from the hospital.

(Stroker, putting his hand on his forehead):  Oh no!

Fade.  The scene is now at Marauder and Linda's home in Boston a few days later.  Marauder is polishing the trophy while Linda, Hotrod, and Alana are sitting nearby.

(Marauder):  Where would you like it, dear?

(Linda):  How about over the fireplace?

(Hotrod, nods):  That looks like a good place.

Marauder puts the trophy on the mantle over the fireplace.  He centers it so it looks right.

(Marauder):  How's that?

(Linda):  Perfect, my love!

(Hotrod):  Looks good.  A lot of blood, pain, and sorrow went into earnin’ that trophy, but on the other hand, many friendships were forged as well.

Alana moves over and again sits in Hotrods lap, leans her head on his chest, and smiles.

(Alana):  And I already have a trophy.

(Hotrod, looks puzzled):  Oh? 

(Alana, nods):  Yeah, it’s you.

She then smiles, lightly squeezes his arm, and lets out a happy sigh.  Hotrod blushes at her words and cannot help but smile, and then he rubs her shoulder.

(Hotrod):  Thanks. 

(Marauder):  Well, I'm going to go get a soda.  Any of you want one?

(Hotrod, nods):  Yeah, a Dew if you can.  You want anything, hon?

(Alana, shakes her head):  No, thanks. I’m perfectly fine.

(Linda):  Oh, Marauder, you don't need to do that.

(Marauder):  Oh, yes.  I forgot.

Linda picks up a bell and rings it.  Then, Stroker walks in, wearing a French maid's outfit.

(Stroker, stunned):  You rang?

Hotrod looks and sees the traumatized look on his face and laughs.

(Hotrod):  I told ya, dude.  Who's laughin’ now?  Ha ha!

Everyone laughs, except for Stroker.

THE END